Bucknell (2-1, 0-0): Lost to Cornell, 21-20. Next game: At Marist, Oct. 4, 1:00 p.m. Delaware (1-2, 0-0): Lost at Furman, 23-21. Next game: Home vs. Albany, Saturday, 6:00 p.m. (tickets) Lafayette (2-0, 1-0): Idle. Next game: Home vs. Penn, Saturday, 6:00 p.m. (tickets) Lehigh (1-1, 0-0): Idle. Next game: At Princeton, Saturday, 6:00 p.m. Penn (0-1, 0-0): Lost to Villanova, 30-24 (OT). Next game: At Lafayette, Saturday, 6:00 p.m. Penn State (4-0, 0-0):......

We told you to hurry, but because many of you may not have been able to make it to Penn on time, here's XPN's video coverage of The Kooks busking at the university.......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: FRIDAY Pirate It Up: Celebrate Talk Like A Pirate Day with a screening of Bob Hope’s The Princess and the Pirate at Independence Seaport Museum (211 S Columbus Blvd), 7:30PM. $4 For Something More Serious: Leerraum Night featuring Swiss, Japanese, and German Experimental film and video at the Rotunda (4014 Walnut), 8PM. Free Soothe What Ails Ya: Experimental electronic music of Tantrum Tonic at the Random Tea Room......

If you're picking up a copy of Inquirer columnist Faye Flam's first book, The Score (subtitled "How the Quest for Sex Has Shaped the Modern Man") looking for a titillating chronicle of men's sex lives, look elsewhere. Likewise, if you're looking for groundbreaking scientific research explaining why, for instance, guys like porn, you've picked up the wrong book. Flam is a journalist, pure and simple, so she's neither trying to arouse nor to astound. What......

Penn (0-0, 0-0) will open up their season this Saturday against Villanova at 3:30 p.m. (tickets). Penn State put up their third straight yawner of a win this season, beating up on hapless Syracuse, 55-13. And it looks like things aren't going to change for the Lions before they get to their Big Ten season, as they close out their non-conference schedule at home against Temple on Saturday (tickets). Another week, another rough loss for......

busk (v) – [To] perform (esp. music) for voluntary donations, usually in the street or in subways If you're on or near the Penn campus right now, head over to College Green (in front of the Van Pelt Library) for a slightly unconventional music performance: The Kooks (MySpace), who will be performing tonight at The Electric Factory, are getting a bit of rehearsal in in the form of a free, outdoor, acoustic performance—busking, as......

Penn (0-0, 0-0) is inactive until September 20, when the Quakers will open up against Villanova (tickets). The question for Penn State (2-0, 0-0) this week was whether they could circle the wagons following the suspension of a number of players, particularly from the defensive line. The Lions answered that question in the affirmative (and in all capital letters), as they put a major hurt on Oregon State, 45-14. Unfortunately, the Lions' defensive line got......

Well, not exactly—but here he is at Penn, trying to convince people he is.......

Dear Mr. Colbert—Stephen, if we may: Are we too old? Too young? Too fat? Too thin? Too liberal? Yes, it must be too liberal. Because why else would you have been ignoring our attempts to reach you? Let us assure you that it was our readers, and not us, who endorsed Barack Obama. We are true patriots, Stephen. We on the Phillyist staff will be writing your name in when we go to vote this......

As we're sure you've noticed, we're big fans of Educators Gone Wild here at Asshole of the Week. It seems like every week there's at least one story about a drug-dealing coach or a pedophillic teacher. But this week, one story got us thinking: how much blame can we put on the academic institutions who hire these people? Usually, we think the answer is "Not much." After all, people will go a long way to......

Update: Digg this, please! As the second most famous person who has slept with Jessica Simpson once said, “Fathers be good to your daughters / daughters will live like you do / girls become lovers who turn into mothers / so mothers be good to your daughters too” Somewhere along the way, a father was not good to a daughter. It’s well-established that as a father your number one job is to keep your little......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: There Goes That Spielberg Again: “Sharks, Spaceships and Spectacles: The Films of Steven Spielberg,” a presentation by Dr. Lester Friedman, with hors d’oeuvres and drinks, at the Prince Music Theater Independence Black Box (1412 Chestnut), 6PM. $10 As We Look Forward: Author Mitch Nathanson discusses his new book The Fall of the 1977 Phillies: How a Baseball Team's Collapse Sank a City's Spirit at the Penn Bookstore (3601......

Animal cruelty investigators raided some rowhouse stables on Fletcher Street yesterday, giving the owners 24 hours to relocate the 60 horses on the site. The Daily News paints a pretty horrific picture of the conditions the animals were living in. Chelsea Clinton was at Penn yesterday, stumping for her Mom, and said we should expect to see her and her family a lot in the near future. Which sounds like a threat to us. Beware,......

The good news for the Drexel men (12-19, 5-13) is that, unlike last year, they won't be sitting on the edges of their seats waiting to see if they get an invitation to the Big Dance. The Dragons ended their regular season with a Senior Night win over James Madison before losing on the road at Hofstra. With the regular season over, it's CAA tournament time, and Drexel will open with a matchup against Delaware.......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: London Calling: Free dance party featuring Brit Rock from the '60s to today spun by DJs Jared Styles and Jim McGuinn at World Café Live (3025 Walnut), 6PM. Free (pre-registration required) Exit A: Anthony Swofford, author of Jarhead, reads from his latest book Exit A at the Penn Bookstore (3601 Walnut), 7PM. Free Deep Breath: Introduction to Buddhist meditation presented by the Menlha Buddhist Center at the Ethical......

Teamsters plan to rally outside the Four Seasons Hotel at 18th Street and the Ben Franklin Parkway at 1:30PM today because AmerisourceBergen Corp.'s annual shareholder meeting is being held there at that time, and the teamsters are accusing the company of unfair labor practices. Remember how Rick's Steaks was fighting to stay in the Reading Terminal Market? Well, the fight continues. A recent court ruling dismissed most of Olivieri's claims against Reading Terminal, but Olivieri's......

The Drexel women (15-11, 10-5) were looking like contenders after three straight wins, including a spanking of William & Mary. But then reality set in, in the form of #10 Old Dominion. The men (11-18, 4-12) didn't have to worry about being exposed as mediocre–everyone knew they stunk. But apparently they still felt compelled to show everyone, in the form of losses to William & Mary and Fairfield. Their regular season will sputter to a......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Poemergency: Local poets Frank Sherlock and Paul Siegell read selections from theirs works at Bubble House (3404 Sansom), 8PM. Free Get Your Law on: “Auteurism on Trial: Spielberg and Copyright Law,” a lecture by Penn Professor of Cinema Studies Peter Decherney, at the Free Library of Philadelphia Philadelphia City Institute (1905 Locust), 6PM. Free Jam Wednesdays: Circadian Rhythms, Saudi Arabia, Lexington Down, and The Highball Kids at the......

Today is another irresponsibly light day when it comes to Can't Miss This! fare. It's not that we don't love you, it's just that we are very popular and everyone wants to spend time with us and, some days, it gets out of control. Like today. So, here's the short-and-sweet skinny on what you should do tonight instead of staying home to defragment your hard drive. Nerd. THE LEGACY OF 1808: THE EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION......

The Drexel Lady Dragons (14-10, 9-4) got a pair of solid home wins this week, topping Delaware and James Madison. Now they'll take the show on the road, heading to William & Mary tomorrow night before a big showdown with #10 Old Dominion on Sunday. Things weren't quite as peachy for the men (11-16, 4-11). They lost a tough double-overtime game to Old Dominion last Thursday. Fortunately, they edged out a win against Delaware over......

What's new and/or interesting on TV this week. Antiques Roadshow (Mon, 8PM-9PM, WHYY & WLVT) First part of a three part series set in San Antonio, Texas. One of the items examined is a World Series program for the 1905 series between the New York Giants and the Philadelphia Athletics. Good Eats (Mon, 8PM-8:30PM, Food Network) Our favorite cooking show takes a look at our favorite vegetable: broccoli! History of the Joke (Mon, 9PM-11PM, History......

The Daily News takes a closer look at one of the programs that Philadelphia Safe and Sound will have to shut down, thanks to Nutter's budget cuts: the anti-truancy program. Meanwhile, the Inquirer takes a closer look at a federal lawsuit filed by the Philadelphia Housing Authority, implicating Housing and Urban Development Secretary Alphonso Jackson, a Bush cabinet member. A profile of Phyllis Beck and Alice Beck Dubow, the first mother-daughter judges in the......

Colgate-Palmolive has a great little contest running where you vote for one of nine children's hospitals around the country, and the one with the most votes gets a Fun Center where sick kids can go to forget about their illnesses for a moment and remember how to have fun. Each Fun Center will be equipped with a flat screen monitor, DVD player and a Nintendo Wii. Sweet! The promotion has gone so well, all......

Drexel had one of those ho-hum weeks. The women (12-10, 7-4) split their games this week. They beat up on Georgia State before falling short against VCU. The men (10-15, 3-10) couldn't keep up with George Mason, but bounced back with a solid win over Towson. Tomorrow night, the Lady Dragons will be promoting breast cancer awareness at their home game against Delaware. The players will be wearing pink headbands and wristbands, and fans who......

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Today we have basketball, masturbation, and ancient, unrequited love. What more can we say? YOUNG FRIENDS PROGRAM: GREATEST HEARTBREAKS OF ANCIENT TIMES The University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology knows how to kick it old school, especially around Valentine's Day. The most sacred of Hallmark holidays, Valentine's Day is a day which lonely people spend masturbating and couples spend, well, um, doing romantic stuff? Anyway, the Young Friends of Penn Museum are bringing......

The weekend is still barely visible over the horizon, but that doesn't mean you can't have some weekendly fun upon this unseasonably warm eve. Here are a few things to do so you can tell your friends how immersed you are in city life. A BOB MARLEY BIRTHDAY CELEBRATION! Bob Marley was a class act from the start, and identification with the marijuana counter-culture did nothing to dampen his image as one of the most......

The Drexel Lady Dragons (11-9, 6-3) split their games this week, losing at Northeastern before coming away with a solid road win at Hofstra. In both games, the Dragons got a big contribution from sophomore forward Gabriela Marginean, who was named Colonial Athletic Association Player of the Week for her efforts. The men (9-14, 2-9) went 0-2 (again) this week, dropping games to Georgia State and Northeastern. The two losses brings the Dragons' losing streak......

It’s almost that time again folks: Compulsory Love Day is next Thursday, so it’s time to stock up on the champagne, chocolates, and condoms. That is, if you have a partner. If not, tradition dictates you sit at home alone, preferably in a battered bathrobe, and eat a quart of ice cream out of the container. If you’re feeling somewhere in the middle of the champagne/battered bathrobe spectrum, here are some ideas to keep you......

Every Tuesday and Thursday, we'll be posting events that are going on sale during the current week. This Thursday post only collects the latest announcements, so definitely check the Tuesday post for any you may have missed. COMEDY Chris Rock - No Apologies Academy of Music Tue, 2/26/08, 7:30PM On sale: Sat, 10AM, Live Nation Frank Caliendo The Hershey Theatre Sat, 3/29/08, 8:30PM $29.75-$50 On sale: Sat, 10AM, Live Nation Brian Regan - Live in......