A week's worth of local Craigslist hijinks. A man trades his son's car for a BJ and then asks Craigslist readers if he's a bad person. Readers, weigh in. We personally feel somewhat sorry for the schmuck. If you scan the internet enough, you realize love and sex are pretty terrifying to most people, even when they are at their most forward. That in mind, can a nice seaman please give this girl some attention?......

As a straight American man, I believe that the current ruling by California lawmakers to legalize gay marriage is a mistake that will ruin this great American nation of ours! Yet, as a straight American man, I am not allowed to disagree with what the liberal, New York, Hollywood, cheese-eating, French-speaking, Oprah Book Club Reading, media-istas say is acceptable. Well I say "accept-a-BULL!" What kind of country is this where a citizen cannot express himself......

Looking back on a week's worth of local craigslist hijinks... Fashion-conscious hipster-lover reaches out to a foxy girl in a grandma sweater he peeped on Wednesday in Old City. We are relieved to infer the attraction does not extend to his own grandma. To the girl who assures us she is not creepy, just cheap—tell us if your scheme works because we think paying rent is bullshit too. But if it doesn't work, we're sure......

Shanghaiist's Managing Editor, Dan Washburn, snapped this photo at Thumb Plaza in Pudong. That, you may have guessed, is in China. When he directed us toward this picture via his personal website, he asked the same thing we're wondering about: "Can Philadelphia sue?" Sigh. First our Hollywood movies and now our iconic sculptures. China must be stopped!......

Dear Philadelphia: I have lived here now for nearly six years. I made it through four and a half without buying pepper spray, and only acquired one from a friend when a string of sexual assaults last fall were a little too close to home. It remains attached to my keychain, except for when it isn't: before shows at the Electric Factory or TLA, I make sure to detach it and leave it somewhere......

I like Jason Statham. I think he's a really talented guy. But let's face it, besides Snatch and Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels, he hasn't been in very many decent movies. Just look at his filmography: Transporter 2, that Uwe Boll Dungeon Siege thing, The One. Ugh. For that reason, I went into my screening of The Bank Job with pretty low expectations. And I came out pretty impressed. It's actually a really solid......

Remember those makeshift stables in Strawberry Mansion that animal cruelty investigators raided yesterday? Well, the owners of about 40 of the horses living there removed their animals yesterday, as ordered. About 20 more horses were allowed to stay in three garages on Fletcher Street near 27th that had been made into stables while owners of those properties made repairs. The other structures will be bulldozed today. Yesterday, City Council gave final approval to a lease......

Bon Iver is the lyrics and music of Justin Vernon. As last night's opening act for Black Mountain, Vernon and his band set an introspective tone. The first thing I thought of when they started playing was, Dude meditates or spends a lot of time alone and quiet, or he could never write such insightful, unembellished lyrics, or create exquisite music stripped down to its barest, most natural, yet beautiful state. It's like he was......

It was obvious that 90% of the crowd was at The Trocadero the night of February 2 (yep, we are super late on this review) for one reason and one reason only: to see One Republic. The band, enjoying its recent success at the hands of The CW (their song "All We Are" was apparently played during a very pivotal moment during an episode of Gossip Girl) has such a big under-age following that The......

The sun is out and, although it looks pretty, it isn't doing us much good. It's still colder than a Phillyist's, uh, hand, in a, um, brass, hm, glove? Politically correct humor is an oxymoron. Since it's Valentine's Day, we'll offer something angry for the loners, something romantic for the lovers and something educational for the learners to do in the city that is suddenly too cold for murderers. At least there's something good......

There are lots of reasons why drinking heavily on Valentine’s Day is probably a good idea, but here’s a new one: University City Kiwanis Club is sponsoring A Shot for Love, a fundraiser at McFadden’s Restaurant and Saloon tonight from 9PM-12AM. As you head in, let the nice person at the door know that you are there for the Kiwanis Club gathering, and your $5 cover will be donated to the Second Chance Support Group,......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Double Feature: Andrew's Video Vault presents Zabriskie Point and Secret Ceremony at the Rotunda (4014 Walnut), 8PM. Free (donations accepted) Valentine’s Grinches: Anti-love party with readings from Joey Yearous-Algozin, Hailey Higdon, Maria Raha and others at The Dive (947 E. Passyunk), 8PM. Free Love Letters: Poet Susan Windle reads from her collection “Love Letters” at the Big Blue Marble Bookstore (551 Carpenter Lane), 7PM. Free The Buddha is......

This week's quote comes from Eugene Ionesco, who wrote: "Drama lies in extreme exaggeration of the feelings, an exaggeration that dislocates flat everyday reality." Now, on with the listings! Enchanted April - Charming May? February 22-March 8. Ticket reservations online. How I Learned to Drive - Was it in Driver's Ed? February 22-March 8. Tickets online. Last Will and Testament - Audience participation required. February 22-March 8. Tickets online. Mr. Bailey's Minder - "Re" costs......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: Love Songs: Dolce Suono Chamber Music Concert Series presents Love Songs: A Valentine’s Serenade at the First Unitarian Church of Philadelphia (2125 Chestnut), 7:30PM. Free Lopez: The Lopez, The Dollyrots, and Percocettes at the North Star Bar (2639 Poplar), 8PM. $8 Jazzy: Ars Nova presents Ben Ratliff, author of the new book “Coltrane: the Story of a Sound,” speaking on jazz history at the Kelly Writers House (3805......

Have your Valentine’s Day activities planned out yet? No? Us neither (and we really have no excuse). Luckily foobooz is looking out for you, or at least your stomach. They have an extensive list of eat-out options and specials, including many singles events, to get you through the (perhaps dreaded) day. Our favorite is the Puppy Love Valentine’s Party hosted by Devil’s Alley tomorrow night at the Painted Bride; $35 buys tickets for one person......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: FRIDAY Some Art for the Wall: 5th Annual Emerging Artists and Emerging Leaders Art Auction, with entertainment by local guitarist Marisol Rampolla and an open bar, at Drexel University - Paul Peck Alumni Center (32nd and Market), 7PM. $10 There Are Some Who Aren’t?: Local author Lynn Hoffman reads from his novel bangBANG, the story of “a feisty Philly waitress,” at Molly’s Bookstore (1010 S. 9th), 7:30PM. Free......

Today we have basketball, masturbation, and ancient, unrequited love. What more can we say? YOUNG FRIENDS PROGRAM: GREATEST HEARTBREAKS OF ANCIENT TIMES The University of Pennsylvania Museum of Archaeology and Anthropology knows how to kick it old school, especially around Valentine's Day. The most sacred of Hallmark holidays, Valentine's Day is a day which lonely people spend masturbating and couples spend, well, um, doing romantic stuff? Anyway, the Young Friends of Penn Museum are bringing......

Ah, love. Though we may not have an overflow of the brotherly variety, Philly is offering plenty of options for those happy couples looking to sanctify said happiness with boxes of chocolates and a night on the town. We’ll tackle the latter here; we've given you some chocolate-related goodness already. If you forget to get a card and all the Rite Aid has left are American Idol Valentines, take heart: you can make your own......

Dear La Petite Mort, I think my game is broken. I haven't been out on multiple dates in years. I'll admit, I'm sort of a particular guy. If I want to see There Will Be Blood and she wants to see 27 Dresses, done. If I want to talk about Obama and all she can say is, Oh Britney! she's finished. It might seem picky, but I never want to settle. If she's too short,......

It’s almost that time again folks: Compulsory Love Day is next Thursday, so it’s time to stock up on the champagne, chocolates, and condoms. That is, if you have a partner. If not, tradition dictates you sit at home alone, preferably in a battered bathrobe, and eat a quart of ice cream out of the container. If you’re feeling somewhere in the middle of the champagne/battered bathrobe spectrum, here are some ideas to keep you......

This week's quote is one we rather like, by none other than David Mamet, who we often don't. It runs in full: "When you come into the theater, you have to be willing to say, 'We're all here to undergo a communion, to find out what the hell is going on in this world.' If you're not willing to say that, what you get is entertainment instead of art, and poor entertainment at that." Now,......

For the Love of Pig Iron, Pig Iron Theatre Company's fundraiser, only happens once per year, so we're not going to trouble you with a full review that might make your mouth water and your jealousy rise. If you weren't there, try to make it next year. That's all. Highlights you may have missed from this year's benefit, "The Swining": An opening dance-comedy piece choreographed to iconic "scary movie" music (like the scores to Jaws......

I am thoroughly convinced that for his solo shows, when there's no percussion onstage, Rhett Miller uses his hair to help him keep time. It seems to have a mind of its own, swirling around his head and over his eyes as he energetically plays the songs that his fans know every word to. His isn't '80s headbanger hair: it starts out perfectly feathered and carefully blown-dry, but as Miller performs, it becomes drenched......

Last year's For the Love of Pig Iron benefit show, "PIG FEAT!" was one of the best performances we saw all year. This one-night-only variety show featured drag acts, dancing, music, and the most spirited, competitive, live auction we've ever seen. We knew we'd be back in 2008. And now, after over a year's wait, For the Love of Pig Iron returns to raise more money for the folks at Pig Iron Theatre Company. This......

The best of the internet, chopped into tiny bits and grilled for your enjoyment. A painfully true video about what's really important to voters. It's composed mainly of NSFW language, so remember your headphones! (Via Jill) Basic Instructions discusses something of serious importance: How to Decide Which Star Wars Character You Are Most Like. Cloverfield's impressive opening weekend box office numbers make the possibility of a sequel seem pretty inevitable. Grindhouse is back up on......

There's a new big boss man in the City of Brotherly Love, which means there's a new column on Phillyist. Each week, we'll be tracking Michael Nutter's mayorship (which we only found out was a word when spellcheck didn't correct it) and giving you the Reader's Digest version of the week that was in Nutter's tenure. Think of it as SportsCenter for the new man in charge: You might not have seen the whole story......

Every weekday of December (except for December 25, that is), Phillyist will be counting down to 2008 with our highlights from the past year and our predictions for the next. If you have a list you'd like to submit, let us know! I'm a music guy. I listen to a ton of music, and because of Phillyist, I've been able to hear a lot of great stuff I never would have heard otherwise. But, no......

Fun around town, for $10 or less: FRIDAY New Year's Special: Improv comedy with the N Crowd at the Actors Center (257 N. 3rd), 8PM. $10 Caterpillar: Caterpillar, Photon Band, and The Trolleyvox at Johnny Brenda's (1201 Frankford), 9PM. $8 SATURDAY Show Some Love: Dance for a good cause at the Community Education Center and Meeting House Theatre (3500 Lancaster) fundraiser featuring DJ Mr. Cisum, 8PM-1AM. $10 More Spice Than Sugar: Sugartown featuring Lesbians on......

Every weekday of December (except for December 25, that is), Phillyist will be counting down to 2008 with our highlights from the past year and our predictions for the next. If you have a list you'd like to submit, let us know! You guys picked the items in this list - which made this post a lot easier to write! And we thank you for that, because we're really kind of burning out on this......

What's new and/or interesting in Philly theaters this weekend. The Savages - Laura Linney and Philip Seymour Hoffman play siblings who are forced to live together again with their estranged father when his mind goes and there's no one else to take care of him. Not surprisingly, they drive each other crazy, but ultimately "start to realize what adulthood, family and, most surprisingly, each other are really about." Which sounds kind of corny. But with......