For the Love of Pig Iron, Pig Iron Theatre Company's fundraiser, only happens once per year, so we're not going to trouble you with a full review that might make your mouth water and your jealousy rise. If you weren't there, try to make it next year. That's all. Highlights you may have missed from this year's benefit, "The Swining": An opening dance-comedy piece choreographed to iconic "scary movie" music (like the scores to Jaws......

Film: I Don't Want To Sleep Alone Future Screening: There are no future screenings scheduled. One of the things I enjoy about the film festival is the number of people who show up for even the most difficult films. Tsai Ming-liang is by no means an accessible or populist director—if you read my review and think, that sounds really boring, you're probably right—and yet the theater was almost entirely full of people. I'd be surprised......

...Ummmm: Has he actually looked at the baby? (Via The Superficial.) ...Stepford: Oh lookie, Tom Cruise is back at it again! (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Oh No She Didn't! Actually, it's not surprising at all that she did. (Via I Don't Like You In That Way.) ...Crazy: Whether it's true or not, it's a damn funny story. (Via LAist.) ...Babies: That's a lot of diapers to change! (Via People.) ...Punishment: There are......

When I was eleven years old, my parents and I started spending a week every summer in Topsail, North Carolina, with my best friend, “Zoe” and her family. Our parents had an extra special knack for taking us places where nothing was going on and there was no one under the age of 60 within a seventy mile radius. This, however, did not stop us from wondering whether or not we’d meet guys in our......

Little-known fact: There are a hell of a lot of blogs in Philly. While we here try to hold our own, there are a lot of good stories out there just waiting to be read from around the Philly blog community. Here are a few that popped up throughout the week. Go ahead, check it out, we won't get jealous. Just come on back here when you're good and ready. We'll have cookies and soy......

...Drastic Measures: Or, she could have just stayed in rehab. (Via The Superficial.) ...Role Models: Clearly, Britney has taken a cue from Lindsay. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Homophobia: We mentioned this in this week's Across the Ist-A-Verse, but it bears repeating that Tim Hardaway is a homophobe. That being said, George Takei (!!) would still do him. (Original story via Chicagoist. George Takei video, embedded above, via Horny Oyster.) ...Babies! Two more. Yay!......

...Beautiful Couples: What's that thing on his chin? (Via People.) ...Big Moves: The Brangelina clan is now living in New Orleans, giving frat boys one more reason to stock up on beads. (Via E! Online.) ...Gay Icons: Umm... do his armpits look waxed to you, too? (Via Defamer. Video above.) ...Androids: We called it. (Via A Socialite's Life.) ...EW: But really, what took so long? (Via Egotastic.) ...Smart: She sure knows how to pick......

...Hilarious: It's not celeb news, but dammit, click the (moderately NSFW) link anyway. (Via Gallery of the Absurd.) ...Heartbreak: Say it ain't so! (Via The Superficial.) ...Intestines: Farrah Fawcett should be a-okay. (Via E! Online.) ...Butt Pirates: As if Daniel Craig hadn't been mocked enough during the making of Casino Royale! (Via I Don't Like You in that Way.) ...Pretty Boys: Less vain celebrities just shave their heads. (Via Just Jared.) ...Making Eugenics Make Sense:......

...Drunk Drunk Drunkity Drunk Drunk: Paris Hilton finally got hers. (Via Yahoo!) ...Proof of Life: Suri Cruise exists. And she's actually beautiful. (Via The Superficial.) ...Auctions: Come on, you know you want the outfit from the "If I Could Turn Back Time" video! (Via Reuters.) ...Awesome: And our love for Johnny Depp grows. (Via I Don't Like You In That Way.) ...Skank: Lindsay Lohan. Again. Twice. (Via Egotastic, with some very, very NSFW photos......

...Awesome: This is similar to, but even better than, "The X Presidents." And we embedded it above. (Thanks to reader Adam, via Egotastic.) ...Lack of Special Privileges: How Did Paris Hilton think she wouldn't get caught for this? (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Suckitude: KFed has it in spades. So much, in fact, that nobody even wants to pretend they like him. (Via New York Daily News.) ...Awkwardness: Celebrities. They used to be......

...Ignorance: No, Gwyneth, you are American. You're not even really British. (Thanks to reader Katie—story at Blakademic.) ...Blind-siding: We definitely never saw this one coming. Nope. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Now, That's Just Cold: Paris Hilton needs to get over herself. We don't love Lindsay Lohan around here, but Jesus, she should not be making fun of other women's vaginas. (Via TMZ.) ...Stupid: Kate Moss, week two. (Via The Superficial.) ...Divorce: Kate Moss,......