A tall, icy glass of our favorite internet junk, just for you. It's funny because it's true. Present company excluded, of course. (Via Sarah) Speaking of internet truths, we're sure you already know that for every incredibly odd and unlikely pass-time you can imagine, there is a website for it. Case in point: Hats of Meat, which celebrates making and wearing hats made out of raw meat. Why does this happen? We can't even begin......

Hello! Welcome to my gossip blog! It is wonderful that you chose to read me today. Good for you! Here’s what’s hot: Guess which young male heartthrob was seen snuggling with a famous male sports star while his wife and child waited at home? I am not going to tell you, that is between them and their families. Britney Spears was seen at the 50th Birthday party for fashionista Christan Audigier in LA this holiday......

A steaming hot pile of our favorite things from around the internets. The DGA has reached a tentative three-year deal with the AMPTP; the hope is that the WGA will soon follow suit. "Time Warner Cable will experiment with a new pricing structure for high-speed Internet access later this year, charging customers based on how much data they download." This is good news for grandmas who only use the internet to forward cute emails to......

Every weekday of December (except for December 25, that is), Phillyist will be counting down to 2008 with our highlights from the past year and our predictions for the next. If you have a list you'd like to submit, let us know! Twelve months and ten epochal collapses later, we're nearing 2008 and a fresh calendar year for career (or structural) decimation. Let's count 'em down from 10: 10. Pete Doherty (again) 2007 hasn’t been......

Every weekday of December (except for December 25, that is), Phillyist will be counting down to 2008 with our highlights from the past year and our predictions for the next. If you have a list you'd like to submit, let us know! 5. After kidnapping her two children, Britney Spears goes on the lam before being finally caught in Old City, Philadelphia, attempting to stuff her sons into the Liberty Bell. Seems she thought it......

This week's quote is by William Archer, who wrote: "The drama is not dead but liveth, and contains the germs of better things." Now, on with the listings! Arsenic and Old Lace - A most deadly combination. October 19-November 3. Reservations online. Breathing Corpses - Something tells us that that’s not right. October 20-November 4. Tickets online. Last of the Boys - But… What about the world’s population? October 19-November 18. Tickets online. Titanic: The......

...Haircuts: Mena Suvari has not pulled a Britney. She's just making a movie. (Via ABC and The New York Post.) ...Tastelessness: O.J. Simpson isn't even trying to pretend anymore, is he? (Via Ross, via Yahoo!) ...Desperation: Britney is a lonely, lonely girl. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Legal Glitches: Lily Allen isn't allowed to work in America anymore – and we're not entirely sure why. (Via The Superficial.) ...Spoiled Brats: Oh yeah. Paris Hilton......

...Wow: Just watch the video embedded here and marvel at the intelligence of the interviewer. (Via The Superficial.) ...Say What? On the list of things we don't expect rappers to promote: doggie clothing. (Via E! Online. ...Recognition: Lindsay Lohan's face is on the cover of every major magazine in America. How can you get into an accident with her and not know it? (Via TMZ.) ...Charm and Grace: Some celebrities really know how to be......

If you're famous and melting down this week, you're in good company. Such good company, in fact, that we've devoted the entirety of today's "This Week in Celebrity" to celebrity meltdowns. Thanks to Jessica for the inspiration! ...Lindsay Lohan: Last week, we swore we'd never trust Lindsay Lohan again. Here's why: Lohan was booked last week after a Memorial Day drunken-driving incident, but released almost immediately on bail. Only a few days later, and not......

...Class: Nick Nolte is full of it. (Via The Superficial.) ...Liars: We have ceased to believe Lindsay Lohan. About anything at all. She could tell us that the Liberty Bell was on fire, and despite the smoke rising from the vicinity of 5th and Chestnut, we'd tell her to go away. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Really Bad Ideas: Now that she's working as her own manager and publicist, we give Britney Spears approximately......

...Moves: Scary news, folks: Wacko Jacko might be moving significantly closer to Philly. Do you know where your children are? (Via The Reliable Source.) ...Homewreckers: Sorry... Criss Angel? Sex appeal? Seriously? (Via The Superficial.) ...Pregnancy: Is it bad that we're predicting a C-Section? (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Cinematic Achievement: This... is not surprising. (Via Gatecrasher.) ...Changes of Heart: Tom Cruise can make his movie in Germany. Apparently. (Via ABC News.) ...Oops: Remember that......

...Why? The Spice Girls have reunited. For what reason, we can't tell you. (Via People.) ...Over It: Us Weekly has done what everyone should have done a long time ago and decided to stop covering Paris Hilton. (We just mock her. That's okay.) (Via Yahoo!) ...Overstatement: About to die? We somehow doubt it. (Via The Superficial.) ...Cheating: Suspicion confirmed: Britney is no better than Milli Vanilli. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Artwork: Paris Hilton......

...Misbehavior: It seems as if there's nothing that Britney Spears won't do. (Via The Superficial.) ...Skank: Ummm... Wow... (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Good Behavior: We didn't know that that was a thing Paris Hilton was familiar with! (Via Fox News.) ...Splits: It's always nice when a relationship that caused a divorce or two ends. (Via Us Weekly.) ...Cop-Outs: Well of course she's traumatized. And that makes us happy. (Via People.) ...Motherhood: Britney Spears......

When we were in high school, there was some pretty bad music being produced: Britney Spears and boy bands and Creed (shudder). We'd decided that mainstream American music was pretty much the root of all evil. (True: our CD collection boasts a mix we burned that's actually called "Mainstream American Music is the Root of All Evil.") That's when we first started listening to indie rock. Bands on small labels or releasing their own music.......

...Unavailability: Cheer up, ladies. There are still other fish in the sea! (Via MSNBC.) ...Science: Because clearly a baby's paternity can be determined through her mother's DNA. (Via Playfuls.) ...Addiction: It's Robbie Williams' (remember him?) turn to go to rehab. (Via Yahoo!) ...Weird: We know about the cure because of that episode of Friends, but it's certainly not red carpet behavior. (Via Just Jared.) ...Modesty: Britney Spears has got it in spades. (Via Egotastic!) ...Oops:......

...Cartoons: The wonderful thing about tiggers is most definitely not their propensities for violence. (Via Local6.com.) ...Lame: Wax on... Wax off... (Via The Superficial.) ...Aww: We like celebrity babies. Because when they're babies, they're not yet corrupted by Hollywood decadence and seeing Britney Spears' cooter. (Via San Jose Mercury News.) ...Precautionary Tales: And this is why Phillyist wants to be done with the baby-havin' by forty. (Via People.) ...Maternal Instincts: And suddenly, much of......

What better place to be lulled into an ethereal state than the World Cafe Live. The downstairs theater, with its plush feel, red tinged ambient lighting, and stylish back bar easily add to the transitory experience of attending a good concert. With his performance of This Binary Universe, BT took things much further, as sight and sound were blended together for a lush emotive romp through both human experience and possibility. The album's inspiration......

Someone should tell the news directors at ABC 6 and NBC 10 that the possibility of a thug basketballer being traded is not the story you should lead your newscast with, as they did Friday at 11 p.m. It isn’t like there weren't more important stories, like the E. coli outbreak or the congressional report on the Mark Foley scandal. About the only thing this did was make CBS 3’s story about the cold......

Dear Readers: If I tell you that I feel old, I’m not looking for you to tell me, “oh, but twenty-three is still so young, you still have so much of your life ahead of you!” I’m telling you I feel old because, goddammit, I feel old. You going to argue with me about my emotions now? Seriously? It’s been happening for a while. I mean, I threw my back out for the first time......

...Mysterious Spawn: Britney Spears probably had her baby, but then nobody's really certain. Next thing you know, we'll find out she's named Suri. (Via Yahoo!) ...Ridiculous Government Accusations: Up next: the government of Jamaica is upset with the creators of Girls Gone Wild because they make it seem like it's easy to get high there. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Skank: Congratulations, Lindsay Lohan. You're well on your way to becoming Paris Hilton. (Via......

Performances: By Grimm (part of Vagabond Acting Troupe’s Journeys to the Edge) (Future performances); Austentatious (11th Hour Theatre Company) (Future performances); The Guided Tour (Kaibutsu) (Future performances); Granuaile and a Place at Howth (SAOIRSE Celtic Performance Troupe) (No future performances); Cell (Headlong Dance Theater) (All future performances sold out); Cell: Movement in Restricted Spaces (Group Motion Dance Company) (Future performances); Every Day Above Ground (SaBooge) (No future performances); Flip the Script (The Brick Playhouse) (Future......

Celebrate Ben Franklin's 300th birthday with the Bikini Bandits and Phillyist! (NSFW). Speaking of Mr. Franklin, send in a picture of Ben (or Ed Rendell) with a red tongue and win a free t-shirt. And they might have the next YearlyKos in Philly. You know who's going to be upset about those Bikini Bandits? The Houston school system. Houstonist also reports on some redevelopment shenanigans over a landmark theater. LAist's sex advice column on......

...Stupid: This footage is old, but it's been making its rounds on the interweb this week, and it's a fine example as to why Britney Spears and Kevin Federline should never have been allowed to reproduce. (Via The Superficial.) ...Skank: We're almost ready to retire this category; it's just too obvious to keep posting Paris Hilton links. (Via Egotastic!) ...Divorce: Usually, if you're going through a divorce, and you change your locks, your soon-to-be......

...Proof of Existence: Suri Cruise could be fictional. (Via The Superficial.) Or, she might exist after all. And she's probably ugly. (Via The Superficial.) ...Stating the Obvious: Britney Spears doesn't feel sexy these days. We wonder what her first clue was. (Via People.) ...Legal Troubles: Michael Jackson will be back in court, again. This one, he might actually lose -- I don't think anyone believes his kids are actually his kids. (Via Heckler Spray.)......

...Douchebaggery: Kevin Federline is still all about the penny. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Unemployment: Star Jones will be collecting those checks soon. (Via The Hi-Heeled Hotties.) ...Awesome: The new Spiderman 3 trailer is up on the web, and he's in the black suit! (Via Apple.) ...People Who Shouldn't Still Be Alive But Somehow Are: Axl Rose is back in the news. And he likes people. For dinner. (Via The Superficial.) ...Ugly Babies:......

Dear Philadelphia: Summer is officially here again, so it’s time for Return to Sender to visit one of its favorite columns from last year. I just don’t think enough of you are taking Phillyist seriously enough. Which is why we’re presenting you with two case studies, snapped on anonymous camera phones. And why we’ll continue to present you with them, from time to time, if we deign it necessary. And Philadelphia? It’s always necessary. Exhibit......

...Gifts from God: Scarlett Johansson has a great rack. (Via The Sun UK.) ...Plagiarism: It's like George Harrison with "My Sweet Lord" all over again. Only, more accurate. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Bitchiness: If Paris Hilton were any more of a bitch, she'd need a collar. Oh, snap! (Via The Superficial.) ...Heartache: Mandy Moore and Zach Braff might just have broken up. (Via Us Weekly.) ...Causes: Daryl Hannah is tree people. (Via......

...Gay Iconography: That is a very good question. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do? ...Causes: Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie will be selling pictures of their new baby and giving the money to charity. Of course, if you scan that quickly, it looks like Brat Pitt and Angelina Jolie will be selling their new baby. (Via The High-Heeled Hotties and The Superficial) ...Rumor Mill: Are Jessica Alba's boobs real? You decide! (Via What Would Tyler......

Reading our sister sites is not only enjoyable, but also educational. Just look at some of the lessons we've learned from the other -ists since last we spoke! Gothamist gets us started with a lesson on Asparagus. SFist: Liberals? At a NorCal tech firm? Seriously? Austinist: It is impossible to test for drugs in samples that are six years old. Hint, hint. DCist: The DC police don't care about your bicycle. Londonist: Nobody likes what's......

...Engagement: Nicole Kidman is engaged. We wish her best luck and happy endings, especially considering her last marriage. (Via The Superficial) ...Finales: Will and Grace ends tonight. Don't forget your tissues -- it'll probably be a tear-jerker! (Via E! Online) ...Golddigging: Heather Mills is divorcing Sir Paul McCartney. And there is no pre-nup. (Via People) ...Yawn: Nobody likes Lindsay Lohan, K-Fed, Paris Hilton, or Star Jones. Shocking! (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Stupid:......