We don't really like to cop out, but let's face it, this week was a total no-brainer. We're sick of talking about, and you're sick of hearing about, next Tuesday's Presidential primary. But, because we're sadistic and you're masochistic, we keep writing about it, and you keep reading about it. And being the gluttons for punishment that we are, we couldn't help but tune in to the Democratic debate between the Phillyist People's Choice candidate,......

Usually I can muster a good chuckle at the tendency of the mainstream media to trumpet shock over substance in its campaign coverage, but last night's debate only made me angry. Here's why: watching them with me was a bona-fide undecided voter, the likes of which I haven't seen in a long time. As most people I know (myself included) foam at the mouth in rabid support of whatever candidate won their endorsement long ago,......

...Wow: Just watch the video embedded here and marvel at the intelligence of the interviewer. (Via The Superficial.) ...Say What? On the list of things we don't expect rappers to promote: doggie clothing. (Via E! Online. ...Recognition: Lindsay Lohan's face is on the cover of every major magazine in America. How can you get into an accident with her and not know it? (Via TMZ.) ...Charm and Grace: Some celebrities really know how to be......

Paris Power Ballad ...Gay? Lindsay Lohan is... confused? (Via The Superficial.) ...Highs: Paris Hilton got high a week after her jail release? Shocking! (Also, we LOVE the expression "heirhead!") (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Crazy: We'll bet her hair smells lovely, too. (Via Dailiy Mail.) ...Proposals: Given Charlie Sheen's history with women, we're not too optimistic about this one. (Via Xinhua.) ...Touchy, Touchy: Nick Lachey is a big baby. (Via My Fox NY, via......

A new transportation package being considered in the state Senate would add $150 million to SEPTA's operating funds for the coming fiscal year, thus eliminating the need for the threatened fare hikes and service cuts. Even better, the measure would set up a Public Transportation Trust Fund that would hopefully mean the end of SEPTA's annual budget crises. A man who was convicted in 1993 in a 1991 Nicetown rape and murder case is hoping......

...Moves: Scary news, folks: Wacko Jacko might be moving significantly closer to Philly. Do you know where your children are? (Via The Reliable Source.) ...Homewreckers: Sorry... Criss Angel? Sex appeal? Seriously? (Via The Superficial.) ...Pregnancy: Is it bad that we're predicting a C-Section? (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Cinematic Achievement: This... is not surprising. (Via Gatecrasher.) ...Changes of Heart: Tom Cruise can make his movie in Germany. Apparently. (Via ABC News.) ...Oops: Remember that......

...Old-Fashioned Values: Where's the shotgun? (Via The Superficial.) ...Shockers: What? A famous person avoids jail time? (Via People.) ...Schadenfreude: Oh, we hope he goes to jail. And drops the soap. (Via ABC News.) ...Racism: No surprise here, folks. (Via Guardian Unlimited.) ...Low Self-Esteem: This might just be the funniest thing we've heard all day. (Via PopBytes.) ...Ewwwwww: This is not only a bad idea, it's a disgusting one. (Via CelebNewsWire.) ...Extravagance: This seems just a......

...Maturity: The kid impresses us. Truly. (Via Monsters and Critics.) ...Divorce: The question is, what gender will the rebound fling be? (Via E! Online.) ...Ummm: Halle Berry is hot. But "Her Fineness"? Seriously? (Via TMZ.) ...Vehicular Manslaughter: Yikes! (Via People.) ...Booze: Nick Nolte loves it, but then, that's not exactly a surprise. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do? And seriously, you want to listen. According to IMDB, he's lying about his age, too.) ...STDs:......

...Dirty Little Secrets: Nothing surprising about this list. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Illegal Things Gotten Away With Because of Fame: That's not oregano. (Via The Daily Mail.) ...Cosmetic Surgery: Well, at least Tara Reid will admit that she had it. (Via The Superficial.) ...Malibu Ghettos: This is now officially our favorite thing ever. (On YouTube, via Columnist Katie, who got it from reader Anna.) ...Reunions: Paris and Nicole don't want to be......

...Insanity: Connie Chung might just be crazy. The best part is where she gets off the piano and grunts like it really takes effort. (We first saw it on The Colbert Report, but the video is hosted on YouTube and embedded above. ...Street Cred: Lindsay Lohan is a thug. (Via The Superficial.) Or maybe Sean Combs is just a bully. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Movies Scenes Happening in Real Life: Paris Hilton......

...Legal Troubles: Snoop Dogg and his posse caused some trouble in London Heathrow Airport and ended up getting themselves arrested. They were apparently smashing bottles of whiskey in the Duty Free shop. It all started when someone asked Snoop to pass the Courvoisier when he'd made it clear he'd only accept Gin and Juice. (Via E! Online.) ...Stupid: "Suri" isn't Hebrew for "princess" after all. Silly Tom Cruise! (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?) ...Surprise!......

...Mischief: Utah Jazz player Carlos Boozer (we're refraining from making a joke about his name) has filed a complaint against Prince, who is currently renting Boozer's Southern California home. The Artist, or somebody employed by him, made "unauthorized home improvements" in the form of purple stripes and other decorations (including Prince's symbol and "3121," the name of his new album.) Oh, Dave Chappelle, where are you and why aren't you making fun of this? (Via......