Countdown to 2011: 9 Things that Need to Stop in 2011

8. Youtube comments I think the world would survive without the pit of despair known as Youtube comments. My impression of Youtube comments:
NattyIce69: Lol funny
MillerGuy123: Lol [racist rant that has nothing to do with anything]
PoetSmartness: Noway did cat do that, this is fake. fake video is fake.
8582Pikachu: Lol! I'm forwording dis to every1 I kno!11 Lol
TwilightTwehard23321: VAMPIREES!
CaptBoobboob: i luv lamp. BOrat.

7. People who still call Target Tar-zhay People still do this. Really. I love Target—where else am I going to get Holiday Snack Cakes and $19.99 Jersey sheet sets so I don't have to do laundry? But people calling it Tar-zhay makes me want to burn every one to the ground. And you wouldn't want to put all those red-shirted underemployed people out of work, now would you? Did you ever notice they don't have a uniform beyond "wear a red shirt?" Seriously, any red shirt.

6. People who still quote Borat This movie was barely funny in the first place, why do I still need to hear "romance explosion" every few days? I always wondered what infuriating, crappily accented, over-quoted movie would replace Austin Powers, and now I know. But stop. Speaking of horribly dated, over-used pop culture references...

5. Saying you are getting "so fresh and so clean" in Facebook statuses when you shower This album came out in 2000, so I think ten years of brutalizing this particular line is plenty. Isn't there another non-threatening rap group for white people to like yet?

4. It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia I know I am going to catch some flak for this one, but stay with me. As Dee has a baby while soaring over a shark on her motorcycle, I think we can all agree the show is way less funny than it used to be. Charlie is stupid! No one likes Dee! Mac does karate! Dennis is vain! I get it. I think my real beef with the show is everyone quoting it and sweating it constantly. Green man is not funny; do not be green man for Halloween. I don't even need to watch the episodes anymore, if I just read Facebook the next day, I can have the entire episode recited to me in people's statuses.

3. Zombies Remember when zombies were relegated to crappy horror movies? Me neither because they are every goddamn where these days. The Walking Dead is the most overrated TV show since The Wire. The first episode was good, but then the show took us shambling down boring plot lines like a re-animated corpse. Not a single character is likable beyond the cliche, Dudley Do-right sheriff. I just can't wait for the Always Sunny zombie episode, I think people would explode with hyperbolic praise.

2. People hating Sarah Palin While compiling this list, I asked two people for input. Both of their first responses were "Sarah Palin." I get it. She said she can see Russia. She has that dopey accent. She has a TV show. Get over it. Two guys who are famous for trying to bang a girl who is famous for trying to bang the hype man from a rap group from twenty years ago have a show. I think they actually have two shows. Point is, why Sarah Palin? Why does she draw your ire? I think the same people who trip over themselves to illicit effusive praise for things like The Walking Dead are the same ones who try to one-up each other hating Sarah Palin. Quit it.

1. People who complain too much Crap.