This week, Miss Bee is back at it with her picks. She made them based on the median inner-city bus driver wage for each metropolitan area. For New England she used Boston. These numbers are taken from Department of Labor surveys.
HOME TEAMS in caps:
Washington ($17.06) over ATLANTA ($16.41)
CHICAGO ($17.40) over Arizona ($11.24)
Houston ($17.40) over INDIANAPOLIS ($16.55)
CINCINNATI ($19.43) over Baltimore ($14.55)
JACKSONVILLE ($17.33) over Kansas City ($13.10)
Green Bay ($16.97) over TAMPA BAY ($15.28)
NEW ENGLAND ($14.35) over Miami ($12.01)
NEW ORLEANS ($16.49) over Carolina ($13.52)
SEATTLE ($21.03) over Detroit ($14.56)
SAN FRANCISCO ($21.12) over Tennessee ($15.37)
NY GIANTS ($25.66) over San Diego ($19.73)
Dallas ($16.73) over PHILADELPHIA ($12.07)
Pittsburgh ($17.34) over DENVER ($14.63)
My picks:
JACKSONVILLE (-6.5) over Kansas City
Larry Johnson. Wow. JoePa isn't even dead and he's rolling over in his grave from how you act. Grow. The. Fuck. Up. Seriously. At least shut the fuck up and stop making our alma mater look like Florida State. Thanks.
CHICAGO (-2.5) over Arizona
It's Dark and Hell is Hot. No, wait, that's a DMX record. It's cold and Chicago is windy. That's the ticket. 38-year-old arms don't hold up well in cold wind. Jay Cutler's do.
Green Bay (-9.5) over TAMPA BAY
Rookie quarterback making his first start. Not going to go well. Green Bay's secondary is too tough for this kid to figure it out in one day. Rout.
ATLANTA (-11.5) over Washington
Much to Miss Bee's dismay, no more CC47 for the year. Washington's defense is pretty strong, but when you're constantly looked at to keep a struggling offense in a game you'll eventually break. Matty Ice breaks them this week.
Miami (+10.5) over NEW ENGLAND
*Puts on Chris Collinsworth hat* This Miami team. This is a team that just finds ways to win football games. Whether it's with the wildcat or in the return game, this team finds ways to win games in the National Football League. *Takes off hat* They won't win this week, but they will most definitely cover. Remember what they did to New England last year during the wildcat's inaugural game?
CINCINNATI (+2.5) over Baltimore
Home. Dogs. I don't care what happened last week. That was last week. I'm not here to talk about the past. Cincinnati played a tough game in Baltimore. They can beat these guys on their best day.
Houston (+9.5) over INDIANAPOLIS
I don't think that Houston will win this game outright. That breaks the golden rule, "Never pick an underdog you don't think can win outright." After watching the 49ers keep the Colts out of the end zone for almost an entire game, the Texans will try to do the same. No Owen Daniels, though. Ouch.
NEW ORLEANS (-14.5) over Carolina
At home in the dome
the Saints come marching downfield
Carolina stinks
SEATTLE (-9.5) over Detroit
Detroit just lost to the previously winless Rams. Seattle is a tough place to play. Matt Hasselbeck has a field day. Fantasy update: Nate Burleson catches 6 passes for 88 yards and 2 TDs.
SAN FRANCISCO (-3.5) over Tennessee
Michael Crabtree has only played in two games. He already has six more receptions than Darrius Heyward-Bey. I guess he was right when he said he deserved more money than Heyward-Bey. Even Alex Smith will light up Tennessee's secondary.
NY GIANTS (-4.5) over San Diego
The Giants will not lose four games in a row. For real. I know I probably said "The Giants will not lose three games in a row" last week, but that was bullshit. They're totally three-game-in-a-row losers. They are not, however, four-game-in-a-row losers. Especially to the Chargers. (Although, I do hope LaDanian Tomlinson has a lot of yards and touchdowns.)
PHILADELPHIA (-2.5) over Dallas
Phillies lose World Series. Fans lament. Eagles beat Cowboys. All is forgotten until next November. One thing I haven't seen this year, though, is the dude in Center City who sells the homemade t-shirts calling Tony Romo a homosexual. That dude is funny for the singular reason that he yells at the top of his lungs shit like "Romo is a homo" and "Dallas sucks; T.O. swallows" and "Fuck the Cowboys". This is a dude who actually doesn't care. In that respect, I admire him. I care too much.
Pittsburgh (-2.5) over DENVER
This is going to be a great Monday Night Football game. Jaws will be drooling over Big Ben the whole game. Jon Gruden will salivate over Josh McDaniels's play-calling. Mike Tirico will be the only dude who makes any attempt at being unbiased. Any analysis I provide will be passed off as homerism. Black and gold, bitch.
Last week: 4-9
Season: 62-54

Across the Ist-a-Verse


Okay, someone needs to call bullshit on someone for that Philadelphia bus driver wage number. Either the DOL is full of crap, or the Inqy is. The Inquirer has consistently stated:
So, according to the Inqy, even assuming bus drivers make less than subway and trolley operators, and even taking the lowest-waged bus driver, that'd be $2.50/hour higher than the DOL number used for these picks. Someone is full of crap. So who is it?
And for some bonus confusion, the Department of Labor's Bureau of Labor Statistics put the median urban transit system bus driver wage at $14.07. Even assuming a 3.5% annual inflation rate, by my math, that would put the present median at $15.60—well towards the bottom end of that SEPTA operators' rate.
meh. it's the survey i found and used, so at least the picks are consistent. perhaps it's just old data.