Phillyist Interviews... Funnyman Chip Chantry

You have a day job apart from comedy, correct?
I do, I teach our youth.

What age are your students?
Fourth grade, so they're nine, ten years old. Just old enough to start Googling my name.

Do your students have any clue that you do the comedy thing?
Unless they Google "Chip Chantry Phillyist," hopefully, they don't. I do try to keep a low profile, so they do not [know]. The other teachers know what I do, the principal knows what I do. Some of the parents have found out and actually come out to shows without my knowledge until five minutes before showtime, and they've been very supportive. But my kids, as far as they know, I sit at home and grade papers at night.

And on the flip side of your kids, how did you break it to their parents that their son was a comedian?
They actually wanted to come see my first show. I always liked to tell jokes, I always tried to be funny...not always successfully. But my brother was in a band, and my parents would come out to see the band all the time. And the band actually booked me to tell jokes before one show, without telling me—and that was when I tried stand-up for the first time. But I didn't let my parents come to the show because I was so embarrassed.

We all know "that guy," who's really good at telling stories and jokes at parties. How do you go from being someone who's just a funny person socially, or at parties, to doing it on stage as a stand-up comedian?
It's tough. People always thought I told funny stories, and then when I first started [doing stand-up], I did joke-jokes. And my friends would come out and see me, and they'd say, "You should tell stories," which I think is a nice backhanded compliment. I took a comedy class when I first started, so I got the structure down. And I actually started with very short jokes—set-up, punch, set-up, punch—until I felt comfortable telling longer stories.

But it's definitely a big difference. You hear a lot of people say, "Oh, I'm funny, so I'm gonna be a funny comedian on stage." But it's totally different, a totally different realm.

What was your first open mic experience like?
My first open mic, I did pretty well. I brought about five friends out, and they were my laughing support. And even though I did pretty well, I was so spooked by it that I didn't do it again for another six months. It was terrifying. It was great, the experience was great, but terrifying.

What are your favorite open mics, either that you host or to go to in the city?
Helium on Tuesdays is probably my favorite. It's great because you really get a real live crowd; you might have 150 or 200 people out there, which is rare. Usually it's just other comedians, so Helium is great. There are a bunch of smaller open mics that work really well. They just started one on Mondays at Tritone. The Raven Lounge has one on Thursdays.

Johnny Goodtimes and I actually... Last Monday, he had three quarters of a keg left over from a charity bowling event that he did over the weekend, and we just decided to Tweet out, "Hey, we're having an open mic in Johnny's back yard tonight," and it turned out to be the most fun we've had in a long time. So I think we're going to start a guerilla open mic soon, where we're going to let people know about 24 hours ahead of time where it's going to be, and we're just going to throw an open mic somewhere. It could be fun. I think the more rag-tag and scattered it is, the more fun [it'll be].

So tonight, we saw you do Chip Chantry's One-Man Spectacular, featuring Johnny Goodtimes and a multitude of others, is (for lack of a better description) the successor to Die Actor Die, which was run by our good friend and former Phillyist Don Montrey, who was a guest performer tonight. What's it been like taking over the Die Actor Die slot at the Khyber, and how it's been going since you took it over?
It's been great. First off, you really have to credit Don, because he really got the sketch, the improv, and the comedy communities together, and that was really big. Before, there were three separate worlds, and we really didn't intermingle until Don started Die Actor Die, where we performed on stage with each other and we really got to mingle with each other. That was a really big step for Philadelphia, I think, and Johnny and I really just are picking up where Don left off, so we could hit the ground running, and we really tried not to tweak Don's model that much because it works so well. So we take all the credit now, but Don was really the one who got it started and got the crowd down here, and got the format down. We're just kind of carrying the torch.

Aside from Chip Chantry's One-Man Spectacular, where can people looking for funny stuff from Chip Chantry catch up with you?
I'm at Helium a lot. The Shubin Theatre has some great local shows, the Comic vs. Audience show, Bedtime Stories down at Connie's Ric-Rac. Before it used to just be clubs—which there weren't that many of—out in the suburbs, and now there's so many little rooms around Philadelphia where there's funny stuff going on.

And now we'll conclude, as we always do, with the Proust Questionnaire, as perfected by Bernard Pivot.

What is your favorite word?
That's a difficult question, because I know, like, over a hundred of them. I think my favorite word of all time is "squirrels," because you use so many muscles in your mouth when you say it. And it just comes out so beautifully. It's like poetry, it's like a haiku condensed into one syllable.

Why is your least favorite word?
My least favorite word... JohnnyGoodtimes. If you put that all together, that's my least favorite word.

What turns you on?
iPhones, and performing.

What turns you off?
What turns me off? That's a very difficult question. There's so little, because I have such low standards, so there's very little that turns me off. I'm gonna say a groaning crowd turns me off.

What is a sound or noise that you love?
The sound of a text message coming to my phone, because it makes me feel that somebody loves me, even though it's usually just my mother reminding me to pick something up.

What is a sound or noise that you hate?
Does Coldplay count?

What is your favorite curse word?
My favorite curse word... When my uncle says "sonofabitch," all together, there's nothing that tops that. It's poetry.

What profession or occupation, other than your own, would you like to try?
If I could do anything, I would be... Have you ever seen the referees in Australian rules football? They're so badass, and they wear the fedora cap, and whatever a player scores a touchdown or whatever, they just stick their arms out without cracking a smile. They're just the most badass guys on the face of the planet, so I'd love to be an Australian rules football ref.

What profession or occupation do you know you would not want to have?
I could not be a doctor, because sick people just creep me the hell out.

And finally, if there is a Heaven, what would you like St. Peter to say to you when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
Probably what someone said to me one time after a show I did: "Hey, nice job. Keep it up."