A Whiz of the Web Book Review: Shatnerquake

I mentioned Jeff Burk's parody novel Shatnerquake in a Whiz of the Web column a few weeks back. I thought the concept (not to mention the cover) was pretty brilliant, so I jumped at the chance to read and review the book when it was offered to me. The novel is set in the near future, when both technology and fandom have advanced to rather extreme degrees. There now exists a sect of rabid fans of Bruce Campbell, known as Campbellians, who cut off their right hands in remembrance of one of Campbell's more famous characters. Also, something called the Network Wars led to the development of a weapon called a Fiction Bomb which can erase a piece of entertainment from reality, so no one remembers it ever existed. The Campbellians do not like William Shatner, so when the first ever ShatnerCon is organized, and includes screenings of all of Shatner's movie and television appearances, they see their chance to strike. They plant a Fiction Bomb in the theater and wait for Shatner to be erased from history. But the bomb goes haywire, and instead of Shatner's fictional characters being destroyed utterly, they're somehow given life—pushed out of fiction and into reality. Trapped now in a world where they know they don't belong, and where they're all merely copies of someone else, they become filled with rage and, in a desire for vengeance, decide to hunt down their originator—William Shatner himself—and destroy him.

Yeah, it doesn't make a lot of sense, and it's really quite silly. In fact, the majority of the plot is a series of ridiculous contrivances created in order to bring about various events. There's really no good reason for, or explanation for how, all of Shatner's characters come to life—they just do because that's what author Jeff Burk wanted to happen. And there's really no reason for them to all instantly be filled with murderous rage. Again, Burk just wanted a Shatner-filled bloodbath. There's also no explanation for why there's a real, working light saber in the dealer's room at the convention; it's just there so we can read about a crazed Captain Kirk running around the building slashing people to bits with the major weapon of that other sci-fi saga. And yes, this is a very bloody and violent book, with a very high body count. It's a comedy, but it's a comedy with a very dark and twisted sense of humor.

There are some crazy, clever, and amusing concepts, and a few scenes that are genuinely well done, but in general the actual writing is bland, uninteresting, and loaded with typos (although these last, at least, may have been fixed in the final, printed version of the book; I was reading a PDF review copy). The positive side of the lack of ornament in the language is that the book is fast-paced, action-packed, and short! Also, big fans of Shatner's work will be rewarded with many inside jokes about, and allusions to, his various TV shows and films. But hopefully no truly rabid fans of the man (Shatnerians?) will read this book, as Shatner himself is characterized as a selfish, arrogant, hateful, cowardly bastard. You know, in a funny way. This is parody, after all, and not just of Shatner: it's also a parody of fandom itself, and the obsessive lengths people will go to show their love for entertainers.

Which is not to say you should expect any deep and thought-provoking analysis/satire/deconstruction here. This is just a silly book about a whole lot of William Shatners, and it's far more interested in going for the low-brow, gross-out dark comedy than the high-brow postmodern intellectualism. As long as you're aware of that and okay with it, it's perhaps worth a quick read.

Image via Topless Robot