Sparky and Snarky

Dear Sparky and Snarky,
Here's the deal: I've got this friend that I used to have a little crush on... you know, back when I met her and I didn't know she had a boyfriend yet, etc., etc. That was years ago. Since then we've become pretty good friends and I like things that way. Recently she's single again, and I'm sure (courtesy of mutual friends) she knew I had a crush on her once, and now she's flirting with me a little bit. I'm not sure what I should do with that, though. I like our friendship, I don't really feel like I'm into her anymore, but I suppose I haven't thought about it in a while because she's been in a friend space in my head for a long time now. What should I do?
-Been Friends For Years

Dear BFFY,
Friends are important and you want to be a little careful here. If her friendship is important to you, I'd say skip the flirting back. Keep it on the level and keep your friendship. Even if you do that, if you do have crushy feelings for her, they'll surface more definitively soon enough; act then. Right now you sound like you just don't know how you feel, and I would say that if you're unsure, it's best not to muddy the friendly waters.

On the other hand, if you're not close and you're not too worried about what a little flirting with the possibility of rejection will do to your friendship (meaning, you're more acquaintances than friends or you're pretty sure your friendship is easygoing enough to weather things not panning out), then where's the harm in flirting back and letting your head learn to see her differently again?
Good luck,
Sparky!

Oh my, BFFY—ever hear the term "friends with benefits"? Of course you have. This situation might be a perfect opportunity to explore just such an arrangement. You're already friends; you've both expressed an interest in the "benefits." Assuming you think you can both handle it, make plans to do something innocuous like drinks at a dive bar. Get liquored up. See what happens. Lather, rinse, repeat. One word of warning though: don't do this if you think the potential drama will have far-reaching effects on your friend group. If that's the case, it's probably not worth it.
xo, Snarky

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