Sparky and Snarky

Dear Sparky and Snarky,
I was dating this guy for a while towards the end of last year—nothing serious and definitely not exclusive. At the time, I was pretty explicit about not wanting a relationship. Things sort of fizzled out over the holidays and we fell out of touch. Now, however, I've had a change of heart. I've been thinking about him a lot and thinking maybe I do want a relationship—with him. How do I approach this?
-On Second Thought...

Dear Second Thought,
Ah, love—it's so fickle. First things first—is he seeing anyone now? If so, let it go. You pushed him away, so you can't expect him to drop whatever (or whoever) he's doing and come running back. It wouldn't be fair to him or his new partner, especially since you said "maybe" you want a relationship. That said, if he's still on the market, there's no reason you shouldn't get back in touch, assuming your parting was amicable. Don't hit him with the relationship proposition just yet; ease into it. Call him or email him and say you've been thinking about him lately and would love to meet for drinks to catch up. Once you're face to face again, you can subtly feel out the situation.
xo, Snarky

Dear OST,
Let me ask you this, have you been dating around? Are you not finding what you want? Did it turn out that he was a better option than what you've been finding? Or maybe you haven't been dating much? Being lonely or frustrated is not a good reason to pull someone back in. If you were that into him, you probably would have been down for the relationship in the first place. No, that's not always the way it works, but more often than not, the second time around is more comfortable than anything else—but then, perhaps that comfort is what you're looking for. You can take Snarky's advice above and see what you think, but try not to lead this guy on. See how it goes and let your words follow your feelings, not lead them.
Good luck,
Sparky!

Got questions about sex, dating, or relationships? Then we've got answers, whether you like them or not. Send your short but informative queries, complete with clever signatures, to sparkyandsnarky@phillyist.com and wait for the magic to happen.

Become a fan of Sparky & Snarky on Facebook! Or follow us on Twitter—more snark (and more sparks) between columns.