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Two University of the Arts students made the front page at Gizmodo last month but managed to sneak by our radar. It turns out that drivers have an added incentive to share the road: you'll be less likely to find yourself on the wrong end of these clever handlebar add-ons.
We're hoping they're just proof of concept, but the potential for double-edged attack defense, riding down the street between two lanes, is absolutely delightful. Not that we condone getting into inter-vehicular confrontations on any level, because we don't. We're just acknowledging the cool factor.
After all, cars have always had the upper hand, what with the whole "I have six cylinders, you have two pedals, so I could kill you if I wanted to" mentality of drivers. Of course, these little gadgets open up the possibility of bikes becoming the new cars, and pedestrians becoming the new bikes.
How?
Well, if this gets any more out of control, we see bikers not only defending themselves from drivers, but also getting arrogant, running pedestrians off the sidewalk, intoxicated by their newfound weaponry's power.
Eventually, their foot-bound victims will revolt as they once did against the car drivers. The walkers will start shivving the bikers, while the bikers continue mobile-keying the drivers, and the drivers continue trying to kill everyone.
Finally, we see a future full of keyed-car drivers and stab-wounded bikers cursing and holding in their guts while the triumphant pedestrians haul ass to the nearest cistern in which they can wash the blood from their street-pwning hands.
Fine, don't believe us. Write this scenario off as nothing but the insane babbling of a sleep-deprived maniac.
But remember:
Be nice to bikers. Or else.
Image via the pictured product's co-creator Jared Delorenzo.
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Kiiiinda think those keys on the end of handlebars are a dumb idea. I mean, it's not that often that you can foresee a vehicular asshole, and even if you do come across one and catch up to them and manage to key them...I don't think their reaction will simply be "Lesson learned!" UArts kids power-tripping...
agreed. some of those cyclists are giant junkpunchers already. do we really need to be arming them with this?
as a pedestrian, i find this scary.