Sparky and Snarky

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Soooooooooo hypothetically speaking, say you are dating someone who has previously been with only men, and you find yourself getting jealous and picturing her having sex with men every time she brings up her past relationships. Even though she tells you that she wants no one but you, you can't help but worry that she must be missing the penis! How do you deal with that?
- Perturbed by Penii

Dear PbP,
Get over it. If you don't think you can compete with the male member and you can't hear this grrl telling you that she digs you and not some dude she used to date, then maybe you want to go have an encounter with said organ. Let's face it, you're the one thinking about it all the time, not her! As one hot dyke to potentially another, always assume that you rock her world and that no one (boy or grrl) can do it better. Confidence is everything.
Love,
Snarky

Woah there, Snark. Having been raised in a society where practically everything (even the "art" to commemorate almost every hero or heroine) is penis-centric, it's not far-fetched that someone who has to compete with overwhelming social pressure might be a little freaked out. You and I agree on one thing though, confidence will see you through, and if you haven't got confidence, fake it 'til you make it. Basically, I'm suggesting you recondition yourself. Every time you start hyperventilating at the thought of your hottie's body having been in contact with a man's, change the scenario. Imagine her laughing at it, imagine her being very underwhelmed, imagine it wilting like a sad, floppy flower. And then switch gears and remember last night when she was seriously satisfied with the way you rolled her over and... well, you know. Unless she wasn't, in which case, write us another letter and we'll help. My point is this, in case you didn't know, most dudes feel a little sheepish about their flailing members and you should join them in that perception, intensify it, and come to understand that your grrl really does dig you and you have no reason to be threatened by the penii.
It's all in your head, so give yourself a break,
Sparky!