Don't Run with Wooden Stakes: This Week in Philadelphia Theatre

vampire morning 1985

This week's quote comes from the inimitable Jack Handy, who wrote: "One thing vampire children have to be taught early on is, don't run with wooden stakes." Now, on with the listings!

A Few Good Men - Can you handle the truth? October 16-November 1. Tickets online.

Master Harold... and the Boys - No girls allowed? October 15-November 2. Tickets online.

Sherlock Holmes: The Final Adventure - That's what they always say. October 14-November 16. Tickets online.

This Is the Week That Is: The Election Special! - Well, that seems mighty timely! October 9 - November 2. Tickets online.

The Vampyre - Not to be confused with a "vampire." October 17-November 1. Tickets online.

5 Mojo Secrets - Ask Austin Powers. Through October 12. Information at 215.747.9230.

All the Great Books - That's a lot of reading. Through October 18. Tickets online.

Gee's Bend - It's a great place to get a quilt. October 9-December 7. Tickets online.

The Rocky Horror Show - There's a light. October 10-November 1. Tickets online.

The Trial - It's being held in a kangaroo court. October 10-November 1. Tickets online.

Youth in America - Kids these days. Don't even get us started. October 10-26. Tickets online.

Bee-Luther-Hatchee - Say what? Through October 18. Reservations online.

The Do's and Don'ts of Time Travel - Oh, we know this one! Don't interfere with your parents' meeting. Through October 19. Tickets online.

Godspell - G-O-D. Through October 18. To order tickets, call 856.303.7620.

Monster - It's... alive! October 9-November 2. Tickets online.

My Fair Lady - Why can't the English teach their children how to speak? Through November 2. Tickets online.

Shipwrecked! The Amazing Adventures of Louis de Rougemont (As Told by Himself) - That title tells you more than we ever could. Through October 12. Tickets online.

This Is Our Youth - "Our" seems a little presumptuous... Through October 19. Tickets online.

Lake Street Extension - Extending right into the water! Through October 18. Tickets online.

The Persians - Rugs? Through October 19. Tickets online.

The Spitfire Grill - Mmmm... Barbecue. Through October 12. Ticket information online.

Anna Bella Eema - A trailer-park odyssey. Through October 11. Tickets online.

Rock 'n' Roll - The heart of it is still beating. Through October 26. Tickets online.

She Loves You! - Yeah, yeah, yeah. Open run. Tickets online.

Candide - Noses were made to wear spectacles. Through October 19. Tickets online.

The Hothouse - Not as much fun as a cathouse, but what can you do? Through October 12. Tickets online.

Reefer Madness - Beware it. October 9-November 2. Tickets online.

State Fair - It might as well be spring. Through October 19. Tickets online.

ComedySportz - You know Whose Line Is It Anyway? Yeah, it's kinda like that. Open run. Tickets online.

The N Crowd - More local improv. Open ended run. Tickets and information online.

Tony n' Tina's Wedding - It's like My Big Fat Greek Wedding for a South Philly audience. Open run. Tickets and information at 1.800.660.TINA.

If you've got a theater listing in the Philadelphia area, let us know! Also feel absolutely free to post other listings on the comments page!

Image Credit: Flickr user Joe Crawford (artlung)

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