I have a rock-solid, two-week reason to watch NBC round the clock!

I get to read and hear about sports I never knew existed. Like fencing! Wow, who made that up?

The Opening Ceremonies made me feel glad to be alive and totally inadequate as a giant-sphere-run-arounder.

It is the first and last time I will ever hear the name Michael Phelps.

Someone will mess up his body, realllly badly!

I get to have Olympic Sex.

A moment of silence to honor the 16 Year Anniversary of the Olympics Triplecast.

She was the best part of Moonstruck and Steel Magnolias.... Sorry, that was Olympia Dukakis.

I get to see living Americans draped in American flags.

China lies about everything!!!!

No, not Olympia Dukakis... sorry, I meant Wardrobe Assistant Olympic O. Olympia!

It's two years later... I need to call my Mom.

Matt Lauer and Al Roker will do something wacky!!!!

Philly got snubbed on the 2016 Olympics. Oh well, there is always 3016!

America! Fuck yeah!

Image Credit: Flickr user .ack-online.de