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August 14, 2008

Parking Wars: Best of Season 1

parking warsWhen someone offers you the chance to watch a television show and spit out your opinions on it, they probably hope that you enjoy what they're throwing at you. Well, suffice it to say that Parking Wars: Best of Season 1 falls into the category of "fun to watch because it ain't me!" True Phillyists all over the city know the Philadelphia Parking Authority means business. The PPA raked in over $70 million last year. That would pay well over 2.5 million expired meter tickets. Seriously.

However you park it, that's a lot of money. So it's no surprise that meters can run out, tensions can run high, and humor is often the only way to survive for the hardy employees of the PPA. Parking Wars does a good job of humanizing the guys and gals who write us tickets without making the drivers out to look like complete idiots. Sure, some of them do that to themselves. But most people on both sides of the fence can share something in common: they would just rather not meet one another. One employee claims he's out "pimpin' the ladies and ticketin' the cars" and, while we're against racial profiling, we're comfortable saying that this guy does not look like he has ever even seen a pimp in a movie, let alone done any actual pimping. The episodes themselves contain similar gems, but the highlights are one man's (okay, several peoples') all-day battle for redemption at the impound lot and the difficulty tow victims have understanding that you need registration, insurance and a valid driver's license to get your car back.

But the extras are the real bread and butter of this modestly-priced best-of disc and that's what we're going to sink our teeth into here. They are an intimate portal into the daily life of PPA workers of all callings. Whether it's the bootmaster's snacking route or the inner working of a car's personality, you get a sense that these employees have just been waiting to tell their side of the story. Now, does that mean that you're more likely to give them a break the next time you meet one, even if they don't give you a break? Of course not. After all, this is Philadelphia.

Apparently, Philadelphians go into rather specific detail when insulting the ticketing agents that we encounter. Employees point out that, in addition to the copious amounts of expletives, sour violators will spit racial and gender-based slurs, as well. They have been: told to get "real jobs," punched in the face, hit by cars, followed into bathrooms, and had guns pulled on them. But they also point out the exercise, life experiences and, best of all, their pension. Thus, the eternal urban balance is maintained, even in the face of trigger-happy ticketers and drivers that choose to ignore signs and, often, common sense.

At less than $15, Parking Wars: Best of Season 1 is a good watch because, no matter what side of that blue "Violation" envelope you're on, you're bound to find something to which you can relate among its 154 minutes.

And remember: Park responsibly.

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