The best of the internet, squirted out in flavorful neon globules, just for you.

• We're really hoping Christian Bale didn't actually beat up his mom and his sister, because then we'd have to be really disappointed in him. Batman does not beat up old ladies! Unless they're super villains, of course (via Ross). Meanwhile, Warren Ellis points out that Hollywood stars used to be capable of more impressive bad behavior.
• Check out Cinematical's Comic-Con preview.
• M. Night Shyamalan has formed a new partnership with Media Rights Capital to produce one thriller per year for three years. Shyamalan will create the stories and ideas for the films and pick the writers and directors while MRC will finance.
• If you were wondering who was going to replace Ebert and Roeper, wonder no more: it shall be Ben Lyons and Ben Mankiewicz.
• Joystiq has posted a handy compatibility chart for Nyko's FrontMan guitar controller.
• Apparently EA is trying to keep it secret that they're developing a video game based on The Dark Knight, despite the fact that the information has already leaked, which is what seems to have led to G4 pulling the video, wherein Gary Oldman confirmed that a game was in development (despite the fact that he didn't even mention the name of the developer), from their website.
• Novint's Falcon controller sounds pretty sweet, but also pretty expensive.
• Nintendo has lost its attempt to overturn a $21 million patent-infringement verdict, which means GameCube, Wavebird, and Wii Classic Controllers could be banned from retail shelves. Ouch! We're glad we already have too many GameCube controllers...

• Google Maps now provides walking directions. Which is handy for a city as walkable as Philly!
• This video featuring a bunch of fonts personified is full of terrible puns and corny jokes, and is therefore a pretty good time.
• We've often wondered if there was a way to bypass calling somebody directly and just leave them a voicemail instead—and now there is! It's called SlyDial. We are excited. (Via)
• Jamie Bamber, who plays Apollo on Battlestar Galactica, promises that in the final ten episodes of the show the writers will tie up all the loose ends and give us a satisfactory, elegant conclusion.
• Joss Whedon recently revealed on his blog that he'll be shooting a new first episode to his upcoming series Dollhouse, due to some slight issues with tone and clarity. The original first episode will now be the second episode.
• Hancock director Peter Berg will produce and develop a film called Hercules: The Thracian Wars, adapted from a new comic book series from Radical Publishing. We're not a big fan of the comic, but we're curious to see Berg's take on Hercules. Meanwhile, Bryan Singer is producing a film adaptation of a comic that's not even out yet called Capeshooters. It's by Rob Liefeld (ugh!), and it's about two paparazzi who stumble onto evidence that a revered superhero is actually a villain.
• Matt Selman has posted a pretty hilarious piece of documentation from Gotham City Family Court. (Best enjoyed by those who have already seen The Dark Knight.)
• The Invincible Super-Blog digs back into the comic book archives to reveal a villain we almost certainly won't see in any future Batman films: Orca the Whale Woman!
• A creepy new clip from Midnight Meat Train.
• The Movie Blog has the poster, plot synopsis, and hilarious trailer for a seriously awesome-looking exploitation throwback movie called Bitch Slap.
• Holy crap—Mystery Science Theater 3000 is 20 years old!! They're kicking off the party at Comic-Con, and a 20th anniversary MST3K DVD release is on its way.
• Dude, check out the sweet Star Wars flash drives Mimoco is putting out now.
• Dark Room Sex Game was created for the Nordic Game Jam at the IT University at Copenhagen (which had a theme of "taboo" this year). It's a PC game with only an audio and no video component, and you can play it with Wii Remotes. Yes, it's the long awaited Wii porn game! To understand how it works, it's easier to just click through and watch the hilarious demo. Just make sure you have your headphones on; the audio is NSFW.

Image Credit: Flickr user secretlondon123