Monday Manners: An Ass of U and Me

I've used this column before to emphasize that one should not call into question the ethnic, religious, sexual, or racial identity of a person just because he or she doesn't fit into a stereotypical mold. Jews can be naturally blonde, gay men can play sports (just ask John Amaeci), and not all black people have to speak or dress like rappers. It's the twenty-first century. Get over it.

I'd now like to expand the central argument of that column, after hearing the story of Monica Gonzalez via Jezebel: just because a person speaks a certain way, or dresses a certain way, or lives in a certain neighborhood does not mean that s/he is or is doing what you think s/he is or is doing. In Ms. Gonzalez's case, the fact that she was outside in the wee small hours of the morning got her arrested for prostitution—when in fact, she was heading to the hospital in search of treatment for her asthma. This is a rather extreme example of the consequences of wrongful assumptions, but there are countless others that are more extreme and even deadly (anyone remember Sean Bell?).

But assumptions can be of the more mundane variety. They don't end in arrest or death, but they can still range from the just plain stupid to the downright hurtful. It's more or less universally acknowledged that women seeking to buy a car, or visiting an auto mechanic, should do so in the company of a man. Because of the assumption that women know absolutely nothing about cars and men are fluent in cartalk, you're a lot less likely to be ripped off if you're a woman with a Y-chromosome possessing bullshit detector standing beside you—even if you could take apart an engine and he hardly knows how to pump his own gas. It sucks, but it's usually true.

This kind of profiling, while not deadly, is insulting and offensive. It's one step above the schoolyard bullies who take a little boy's lunch money and call him all sorts of fun names just because he likes to sing in the school choir. It can be racially-fueled (crossing to the other side of the street when you see a group of young black men coming toward you) or based on completely superficial traits (writing a woman off as an airhead because she speaks in a high pitch on the phone).

Sure, sometimes, you're right. But most of the time, you're not. And in the end, who's the bigger jackass? The Mensa member who just happens to sound like Moon Unit Zappa, or you—the guy trying to solicit the schoolteacher because she's outside after dark, wearing boots and a skirt that's cut above the knee?

You don't have to be in Mensa to figure that one out.

The appropriately titled "And the Ass Saw the Angel" by Flickr user Ende.