What's new and/or interesting in Philly theaters this weekend.

Most Likely to Suck: The Children of Huang Shi
This film is set in war-torn, 1930s China, and is based on the true story of a young English journalist (Jonathan Rhys Meyers), an American nurse (Radha Mitchell), and the leader of a Chinese partisan group (Chow Yun Fat) who end up working together to rescue 60 orphaned children, leading them on an extraordinary journey across hundreds of miles of treacherous terrain. We are totally not kidding when we say that the synopsis ends with this sentence: "Along the way they discover the true meaning of love, responsibility and courage." Ack! And the mostly poor reviews suggest the film is actually as corny and lame as that sounds.
Trailer - Freshness
Showing at: Ritz at the Bourse

Bra Boys
A documentary about an infamous Australian surfer gang that made headlines in the mid-'90s for a series of violent incidents. The gang was praised by some locals for rescuing kids from otherwise doomed lives, but things took a tragic turn when two members were accused of murder. Russell Crowe narrates. Doesn't sound particularly interesting to us, but the reviews are pretty good, so if you like surfer gang documentaries, we say go for it!
Trailer - Freshness
Showing at: Ritz at the Bourse

Water Lilies
An intimate look into the world of synchronized swimming? Really?! Is this something people were clamoring for? Anyway, the film focuses on three 15-year-old girls (Anne, Floriane, and Marie), all swimmers, who live in Paris. Anne has a crush on a male swimmer, but he only has eyes for the seductive Floriane, which inevitably causes strife and changes all their relationships. Oh, and also there's apparently a lesbian relationship or two? That, plus the mostly good reviews, is starting to make this look more interesting, despite the whole synchronized swimming thing.
Trailer - Freshness
Showing at: Ritz at the Bourse

The Promotion
In this comedy, Seann William Scott plays Doug, an assistant manager of a supermarket near Chicago. When he learns that a new branch is opening in his neighborhood, he and his wife (Jenna Fischer) assume he's a shoo-in to be manager. But recent hire Richard (John C. Reilly) announces he's also applied for the job, and a keen rivalry develops between the two that brings out the worst in both of them, and it takes a disturbing turn when Richard's wife (Lili Taylor) leaves him. The ads make this look pretty good, but reviews are mixed, and it sounds like it could be a pretty uncomfortable experience. Whether you like it or not will probably depend on your sense of humor.
Trailer - Freshness
Showing at: Ritz at the Bourse

Savage Grace
This film is based on the award-winning book, which itself was based on the true story of Barbara Daly, who married above her class to Brooks Baekeland, the dashing heir to the Bakelite plastics fortune. The delicate balance of their marriage is shaken by the birth of their only child, Tony. Brooks sees Tony as a failure, so as Tony grows older it's not surprising that he gets closer to his lonely mother. The family's tragic, rise-and-fall story spans nearly 30 years. Unfortunately, reviews are mixed, and it sounds like there are pretty much no likable characters in the movie, which we find rather hard to take. We're going to skip this one.
Trailer - Freshness
Showing at: Ritz Five

Most Likely to Rule: The Incredible Hulk
It was only five years ago that Ang Lee's Hulk was in theaters, and now here we are already with another Hulk, which is part sequel, part reboot. The filmmakers looked toward the '70s TV show for inspiration, and also took into account all the major criticisms of the original movie, pouring on the action, and putting the Hulk on screen within the first five minutes. The story: Dr. Bruce Banner (Edward Norton) is searching for a cure to the gamma radiation poisoning that turns him into a gigantic, rampaging monster whenever he grows angry. But meanwhile he must remain cut off from the woman he loves (Liv Tyler), and in hiding from her father, General "Thunderbolt" Ross (William Hurt), who wants to steal the secret of the Hulk for his own use. But Banner might have to rely on the power of the Hulk to stop a new monster called The Abomination (Tim Roth). The ads for this have all been very exciting, the reviews are mostly positive, and news of a cameo from Robert Downey Jr. as Tony Stark/Iron Man, and even an appearance from Captain America, have us pumped to see the film. In other words, Hulk smash!!!
Trailer - Freshness
Showing at: UA Riverview, The Bridge

The Happening
Mark Wahlberg, Zooey Deschanel, and John Leguizamo star in M. Night Shyamalan's latest thriller, about a family fleeing from some kind of horrible spreading disaster that seems to be causing people to kill themselves. The ads actually make the film look genuinely disturbing, but early word is that it's overwrought and ridiculous. We've been waiting about eight years for Shyamalan to make another great film... and it looks like we're going to have to go on waiting.
Trailer - Freshness
Showing at: UA Riverview

Cria Cuervos
The International House's celebration of the Janus Collection continues with a screening of this 1976 Spanish film on Saturday night. It's the story of a girl named Ana who is witness to, and perhaps responsible for, her father's death. She communicates with the ghost of her beloved mother, and is forced to grow up quickly. The same actress who plays young Ana's mother also plays the older Ana. Sounds intriguing.
Showing at: The International House

Image via Internet Movie Poster Awards Gallery