June 13, 2008
Asshole of the Week
Some topics just automatically lend themselves to generating Assholes of the Week, and this week, it's the topic of clergy abuse scandals that provides our dishonoree. Charles E. Bennison, the suspended Bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of Philadelphia Pennsylvania, testified in his church tiral. Bennison is accused of helping to cover up abuse his brother, John, committed 35 years ago against a 14-year-old girl.
Now, we're some of the first people to jump in line to make clergy molestation jokes. But to some extent, we can understand covering for your brother, no matter how awful the acts committed were. It's human instinct to not throw a family member under the bus. (We're not in any way saying that we condone the cover-up—only that we can understand how Bennison would be reluctant to report his brother's crimes.) But it's not what Bennison actually did by participating in the cover-up, deplorable though that is in and of itself. No, rather, what's landed Charles Bennison on these pages is the asinine things he said in his testimony. We realize that 35 years is a long time, and that memories fade, but one would think you'd remember some of the details of your brother molesting a teenage girl. Apparently, we're wrong:
I can't remember what I've forgotten.... I do think I have an amnesia problem. I don't remember a lot of this."I can't remember what I've forgotten." That should go down in the annals just behind "It depends upon what the meaning of the word 'is' is."
Oh, and as if not remembering what he's forgotten wasn't ridiculous enough, Bennison "testified that he had not viewed the sexual affair between then-14-year-old Martha Alexis and his brother as abuse, but more as consensual sin on both of their parts." So he doesn't remember anything about the incident, except that it was consensual. Uh-huh. Right. Yeesh.
So, for covering up his brother's abuse, and then for making some completely ridiculous statements in his own defense, Bishop Charles E. Bennison is this week's Asshole of the Week.
Image via Flickr user shadysidelantern.








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If there have been prior "Asshole of the Week" awards I have missed them! This is excellent satire, and oh, so true. Thanks again. Let me know if you need additional nominees for this column...
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Honorable Mention For Asshole Of The Week: HEART DISEASE! Fuck you Heart Disease! Just, fuck you! . . . I want Tim Russert back! >-(
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First off, it is the Episcopal Diocese of Pennsylvania A bit of basic fact checking would get that right.
The actual reason the Bennison is on trial is that he has misappropriated millions of dollars in Diocesan funds to the point that basically there is nobody working at the Diocesan offices - the money was not there to pay them or to do most of the normal things a diocese should be doing. Like on Law & Order, they are just getting him for the sure thing.
Bennison is also mentally ill according to some church documents we have seen. We have heard his defense council thinks he is a slimeball, which should tell you something.
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Thanks for the correction re: the name of the diocese, Sorry. Thanks also for the extra info about the trial. The article I linked to, as well as the other article I'd read about the case didn't mention anything about the use of diocese funds. However, after seeing your comment, I did find this article, which alludes to a dispute about several million dollars.
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Kay: We run Asshole of the Week every Friday at 4PM. Tune in!
SuperBien: I'm with you, man.