Some of you have work tomorrow. Others do not. To the former, our condolences. To the latter, our congratulations.

TWO STAGES AT DOC WATSON'S
This is one of our more basic but to-the-point event names. Yes, there will be two stages rocking tonight over at Doc Watson's Pub. We Are Castles, Domi, The Orange, Conversation with Friends, Common Crave and Bodega will be playing. Also, enjoy $3 Magic Hat #9 and a late-night Happy Hour from 11pm to 1:30am, featuring $5 Domestic Pitchers, $3 Well Drinks, $3 Burgers, $3 cheesesteaks and 25 Cent Wings! Music and deals galore totally eliminate the need to stay sober on a Thursday night, regardless of whether or not you have work tomorrow. Or maybe we just have a drinking problem solution.
WHO: 21+
WHERE: Doc Watson's Pub, 11th Street between Locust and Walnut (map)
WHEN: Music starts at 8:30pm
HOW MUCH: $5 at the door.

SINGLES NIGHT AT THE FIRING RANGE
We just can't get behind this one. Popping off a few rounds and comparing paper corpses is just not our idea of romance. You would think that we've all had enough of the gun thing in Philly, as we mentioned a couple of days ago. But maybe this is just what your inner gun-toting bible hero has been waiting to hear from a prospective sheet-wrinkling buddy: "Hey, let's go down to the range and practice our stance". After all, do you want to fend off unwanted advances from strangers with guns? Sorry, Meet Market, but you missed the mark on this one.
WHO: Um, people who like guns.
WHERE: The Philadelphia Archery and Gun Club, 831-833 Ellsworth Street (map)
WHEN: From 6:30pm to 9pm
HOW MUCH: $79.99. Only two spots left. So if you're gunnin' for one, click here.

BIRTHDAY SHENANIGANS AT THE UGLY AMERICAN
This isn't technically an event at all, but this particular Phillyist will be getting his par-tay on at some point this evening in celebration of a quarter century of debauchery, piracy, ignominious buffoonery, and hyperbole. South Street will likely feel the heat, but the Ugly American will absorb the heaviest blows as the ultimate destination. So if you're patronizing the Old City/South Street/Pennsport areas tonight, keep an eye out for the drunk guy with a tight black shirt on (it used to fit...) with a bunch of loud friends and a girl that looks way too hot for him. If you see him, throw something at him. He'll never even know it was you.
WHO: 21+
WHERE:The Ugly American, Front and Federal Streets (map)
WHEN: Who knows? All night?
HOW MUCH: No cover!

Image via Flickr user paparutzi, remixed with Fotoflexer.