The Urban Dictionary has no shortage of definitions for the word "flaky". And this Phillyist has read them all. He feels painfully well-described by their variety and cold accuracy.

JERRY ALTMAN: THE ART OF TV GUIDE
The TV Guide has been updating housewives on the status of their favorite soft-core porn, er, we mean soap opera, for over 50 years. For half that time, Jerry Altman has played the role of Art Director, guiding the guide that guide the guys and gals (whew!) through years of layout and graphic design. He discusses and signs copies of his new collection tonight at Barnes & Noble. Couch potatoes everywhere would do well to shun the cushions tonight and meet the man behind the mystery. Okay, maybe it's not very mysterious. But it's worth a visit if you're in the area.
WHO: Anyone!
WHERE: Barnes & Noble, 18th and Walnut Streets (map)
WHEN: 7pm
HOW MUCH: Free, but you'll need to buy the book if you want to read it.

ODOR LIMITS
Just reading the headline can be unnerving. But this exhibit features the works of Oswaldo Maciá, Jenny Marketou, Chrysanne Stathacos and Clara Ursitti. There are some delightful scents and some downright nasty one, but the draw here (oh, how we love art puns!) is the unique way that each artist presents their material. They all adhere to the theme, but the imaginative variety of their installments is impressive. Gallery hours preclude cube-jockeys from attending, unless you work in the vicinity of 36th and Market. Then, we suggest dropping on lunch. Either eat first so you don't lose your appetite, or eat afterward so you've got no ammunition in the event that one of the scents you encounter sends your barf muscle into super-spasm. Hm. Barf muscle. We rule.
WHO: Anyone!
WHERE: The Esther M. Klein Art Gallery, 36th and Market Streets (map)
WHEN: From 9am to 5pm. Take Friday off and pay it a visit. No one is going to be getting anything done, anyway. Don't you feel sick already?
HOW MUCH: Free. Because paying stinks! Presented by the University City Science Center, in partnership with the Monell Center.

BAR NOIR: EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT
We're recycling. We've told you all about this place before. But it's really one of the best deals in town. Bar Noir every freaking night: $3 Miller High Life & Light Bottles, $3 Olde E Pounders, $3 Jager Shots, $3 Tuaca shots, $4 Evel Knievel Shots, $5 Heineken Keg Cans, $6 Jager & Red Bull Bombs and $5 Tuaca & Red Bull.
WHO: 21+
WHERE: Bar Noir, 18th Street, between Sansom and Chestnut (map)
WHEN: Right after work! Should we not act so excited?
HOW MUCH: A lot less than it'll cost you to drink elsewhere. How does that sound? Good? Bad? Ugly?

Image via Flickr user Omar Omar, remixed with Fotoflexer.