Dear Manayunk:

I love you. I think you're adorable. I'm even entertaining the notion of moving closer to you.

But I have to say, 'Yunk, you scare the hell outta me. Not because of your crime rate. (The only scary thing about that is how low it is compared with the rest of the city!) Not because of your topography. It's because of your roads.

Annoying though it may be, Manayunk, you either need to invest in some one-way signs or some no parking signs. Because if you have a two-way road that's only wide enough for one car because of the cars parked on either side of the street, things can get pretty dangerous. Or at least pretty inconvenient.

It's not that backing up, uphill, to avoid the SUV coming straight toward me isn't fun, Manayunk. It's that I worry that maybe there's a small child playing in the street behind me. Or even a squirrel. And I worry that I will back over that child/squirrel in an effort to not block the SUV's path and/or get involved in a head-on collision because we're playing like we're in the Prairie of Prax. Maybe I'm a fatalist. Maybe I took that seventh grade science project where we had to study traffic patterns a little too seriously. But whatever the case may be, it doesn't make me want to be on your roads.

People have suggested that I bike through Manayunk to avoid this issue. Even putting aside the fact that I never graduated past pedal brakes, I don't think you could convince me to do this. Sure, the Tow Path makes for a scenic ride into Manayunk, but once you get above Main Street, the problems for cyclists are just as bad, if not worse, than they are for motorists. Because with cars parked on either side and barely room for one car to pass between them, an aggressive or ambitious driver may attempt to pass the cyclist to his right and end up seriously injuring him. Because I've never wanted to see myself launched through somebody's windshield, I'm going to have to politely decline the suggestions I've received. At least until I figure out how to use hand brakes. And, more importantly, until you figure out your traffic flow situation.

Image Credit: Flickr user pwbaker