Do you all stay in your apartments and houses weeping of boredom when we leave you hanging? Do you sit at home bleary-eyed, wondering just what it is that you can't miss? We hate to hurt you, and we'll never do it again. Until the next time.

WOMEN'S PROFESSIONAL MAKEUP CLASS
You may not be America's Next Top Model, but that doesn't mean you have to leave the house looking like a sideshow. Hurry up and you might land one of the two remaining spots on Meet Market Adventures' two-and-a-half hour tour of the best ways to put synthetic goop on your face to hide your true beauty and present a lie to the world. Okay, maybe this Phillyist is an inexplicably passionate anti-makeup revolutionary. But Andre' Richard lives for makeup, he can tell you how to put it on, and what to throw away because it's cheap and hopeless. If you're a wannabe guru, this might just be the running start you need to become the goop-master of your clique.
WHO: Anyone passionate about makeup.
WHERE: Andre' Richard Salon, 12th and Walnut Streets (map)
WHEN: From 6:30pm to 9pm
HOW MUCH: $59.99. Reserve a spot here.

CABINET OF CURIOSITIES CABARET AT L'ETAGE
Burlesque, audio-visual goodies, a DJ, some bands. This is the most unique and well-spent $10 you'll ever drop. You have to respect the minimalist web site, but keep in mind that minimalism is not their strong point. Expect decadence and the shattering of all notions of political correctness, delicacy and modesty. In short: have fun!
WHO: 21+ and bold.
WHERE: L'Etage, above Beau Monde, 6th and Bainbridge Streets (map)
WHEN: From 7pm to 1:30am.
HOW MUCH: $10.

FLYERS VS PENGUINS: GAME FOUR
Shut the hell up and just go watch it, okay! Sure, Timonen and Coburn are out, but you have to play to win and you have to play to lose, as well.
WHO: 21+
WHERE: Paddy Whack's Irish Sports Pub, 2nd and South Streets (map)
WHEN: Game starts at 7:30pm
HOW MUCH: Free. Good food and drink for good prices!

Image via Flickr user ookikioo, remixed with Fotoflexer.