I don't necessarily advocate stealing somebody else's unprotected wireless internet connection. Because that is illegal. And telling you to do something illegal on Phillyist could get us into a lot of trouble.

But let's face it: legal or not, everyone has done it at least once. And, more than likely, you're going to continue to do it. Sure, with Wireless Philadelphia, you could pay a nominal fee to access the internet from most places in the city. But who wants to pay for something s/he could get it for free? (This is why married men who hire prostitutes baffle me.) So, if you're going to continue to go in search of unsecured wireless networks so that you can check your email at absolutely any time, here are a few tips for being as polite (read: unobnoxious, if not undetectable) about it as possible:

Mind your downloads.
Whether you're downloading the all of LOST Season Three from iTunes or illegally BitTorrenting Forbidden Kingdom, big downloads can really slow down your internet connection, especially if you're on a wireless network. You can wait till you get home to learn who Jacob is. Don't interrupt somebody's work for that. A song or two is okay, but don't go overboard: anything longer than about ten minutes is basically uncool. (Likewise, you should try to avoid streaming audio or video that plays for an extended period of time. Watching Sneezing Panda won't do much to the wireless signal; streaming an entire episode of Desperate Housewives will.)

No Cantina Crawling.
Okay, so maybe that command is a bit much. But still... No MMOs if you're using someone else's connection. MMOs take up a huge amount of bandwidth, and the more popular the game, the more you're slowing down the wireless signal. It's one thing if you're at home and your roommates/family members know that the internet will be slow for a while as you try to get to Level 60 in World of Warcraft. It's another if you're inconveniencing a complete stranger who may think something is wrong with his internet when, in reality, that something wrong is named "you."

Don't be an asshole.
And my "asshole," I mean "law breaker." If you, for instance, do things online that might someday earn you some serious face time with Chris Hansen, you're not only going to land yourself in trouble, but you could very well get the person whose wireless you're stealing in trouble. Sure, you might like the idea of being able to pin your proclivity for kiddie porn on a complete stranger—but when that complete stranger has to register on the Sex Offender directory, you're not just a douchebag who likes kiddie porn, you're a douchebag who likes kiddie porn and who managed to ruin a person's life. Sure, downloading one song on... whatever Napster has mutated into these days... probably won't get the connection's owner into much trouble. But no matter what, illegal is illegal, so if you're going to break the law, be prepared to take the blame for it and do it on your own internet connection.

As a postscript, I'd like to remind our readers to password-protect their wireless networks before it's too late. Not only can people screw up your connection speed or frame you for illegal activities, an unsecured wireless network leaves you vulnerable for a number of cyber crimes, not the least of which is identity theft. Take care and be safe!

Image via Flickr user ethorson.