What's Up Your Butt

In the 1970s health activists were yelling about their mothers’ breasts. Women were reluctant to check regularly for lumps, let alone have mammograms to screen for breast cancer. A tumor in a woman's breast was like a tumor in her entire womanhood, especially when oncologists were predominantly male. The outcry about breasts was an uncomfortable, necessary step that empowered women to take care of them. Today there are pink ribbons, breast cancer walks in October, and a sharp increase in early detection, which has led to an increase in survival rates.

It seems that the diseases that need awareness campaigns are tied up in things that make us squirm. After all, our discomfort makes us shy away from the issue in the first place. Which brings up an important topic: poop.

Ever since Freud pointed out the importance of proper potty training, everyone has been anal retentive about discussing poop. As usual, our awkward silence is our greatest hindrance. If we cannot talk about poop, we cannot talk about where it comes from—the colon. Also known as the large intestine, the colon is the last stop feces make before heading to the rectum and anus. When the fecal matter passes through the colon, water and salts are absorbed into the body.

On Monday, it was announced that former Philippine President Corazon Aquino was diagnosed with colorectal cancer (CRC). According to the Center for Disease Control, CRC is the second leading cause of cancer death in America, topped only by lung cancer. A person diagnosed early has a 90% five-year survival rate. However, less than 40% of cases are found early due to low screening rates.

“So, what’s the big deal? How do physicians screen for it anyway?” one might ask. Well, I’m glad you asked. There are a few methods:

1. Poop on a card (Fecal Occult Blood Test FOBT)—Place samples from three consecutive bowel movements onto a card, and bring it to the doctor. Done annually.
2. Stick a tube up your butt (Flexible Sigmoidoscopy)—A flexible tube in the rectum to check out the lower portion of the colon, and possibly take tissue samples for further examination. Done every 5 years.
3. Stick a longer tube up your butt (Colonoscopy)—This is a chance to see the inner you. Same procedure as above, except a longer tube, which is inserted further up to look at the whole colon. Done once a decade, or as a follow-up to an abnormal FOBT.
4.Make your bowels glow in the dark (Double Contrast Barium Enema)—After a barium-solution enema, air is injected into the colon through the rectum, and an X-ray is taken. The barium coating the lining will light up any polyps or abnormalities on the X-ray. Done every five years.

It’s understandable why someone wouldn’t want to give their doctor shit on a card, have a tube stuck up their butt, or get a glow in the dark image of what’s up there. But why not celebrate it? Put the X-ray up on the fridge. Throw your sweet ass a colonoscopy party afterwards.

Speaking of things that are awkward to talk about, the symptoms of CRC include chronic gas, stomachaches, and stools that are narrower than usual.

To learn much more about CRC, it’s not too late to sign up for a dinner seminar tomorrow from 6pm to 8pm at Mazzoni Center. The seminar with Dr. Rob Winn focuses on CRC among gay men. For more info, call 215-563-0652 x 275.

Image Credit: Flickr user evillittleblue