Such Unbearable Cuteness: Phillyist Liveblogs The Barking Beauty

4:50: Chloe, last year's Barking Beauty, kicks off the talent competition by showing the talent that won her the competition last year: jumping into a bag. It's cuter than it sounds.

• Penny's talent: jumping up to tap a pencil with her nose.
• Rico will perform a medley of tricks, culminating with dancing. Theoretically—he seems a little bit distracted by Paws and doesn't actually finish beyond "sit."
• Tootsie, in order to win over the hometown crowd, is going to sing along to "Eye of the Tiger" on her daddy's cell phone. She seems to like the bass line the best.
• Elmo is an employee morale director, and his talent is making people happy, just by looking at him. Know what? It worked!
• Mojo high-fives, lays down, plays dead, rolls over, and dances, all for treats. What he won't do, is bring his owner the treats back.
• Sweetie can apparently spell, do math, and speak. But it seems that she has to be on her special mat. (Leslie wants Sally Sue to pay close attention and learn.) She has to chew her treats before she can do her tricks, but eventually, she's almost able to say "I love you." She can identify letters, kind of (damn those "B"s and "R"s for looking so much alike!), and eventually spells "bear" from the letters before her. She can also do complex math, like 6-2 and 1+1 and 10-7. This dog is either really smart or her mommy is really good at sending subliminal clues.
• Here comes Geisha, who knows how to listen to her mommy in both English and Portuguese. We can't even do that!
• Kiki Sky Blue is also bilingual (in English and Spanish, as well, as a Chihuahua should be). She even plays "mierde." And she, too, can jump in her bag—but she'd rather just steal the treats inside it.
• Kokomo, probably due to her age, is very distracted, but eventually she shows us that she can get on her hind legs to dance.
• Cindy Bell, who seems to know the L'Etage owners (they're cheering for her) can sit still like a statue. A statue with a moving tail!
• Joey has no talent, but he makes his daddy happy and gives him lots of kisses.

4:45:Glamour Wear:

• Penny is here in a pink and black dress with rhinestones. So cute.
• Rico is wearing a leopard print gold sweatervest. We know what team he bats for!
• Tootsie just lost a bracelet, but her pink and black striped dress, complete with black patent leather belt and pearl necklace, remains intact.
• Elmo the Terrier's turn is "true to his British Isles heritage," wearing his kilt in blue and grey plaid.
• Mojo is "the groomsman who will never let you forget your bachelor party." Tux (with tails!) and sun glasses.
• Sweetie is wearing a perfect-for-Christmas red velvet and satin dress. We'd take her to The Nutcracker with us—but she doesn't seem to think much of Paws.
• Geisha's pink ruffle dress is completely ridiculous. Think Scarlett O'Hara meets Annie Oakley in hot pink. We simply cannot deal.
• Kiki Sky Blue is in pink and white tiara, plus jewels. She still doesn't want to move on her own, but she's perfectly happy for her mommy to carry her. She'll be competing in AKC shows soon, though, and she'll have to walk on her own then.
• Kokomo, at four and a half months, is the youngest contestant. But her blue scarf is very chic and sophisticated!
• Cindy Bell's hot pink shirt was jeweled by Lillian, her "big sister," the aforementioned little girl.
• Joey's aviator bomber jacket may not seem like glamor wear, but the rhinestone collar makes all the difference.

4:35: Paws, a dog from PAWS, is here looking for a new family. He's a Pitt, but he's so sweet and looks so sad. We want to take him home, but we doubt that our cats will get along with him too well.

4:25: First competition is activewear—the little outfits we see doggies wear "when they take their poopy walks."

• First up is Penny with Katie Schuster, in a yellow polo shirt. It's on!
• Rico the Havanese is next in a wet suit. Surf's up!
• Tootsie the chihuahua mix (maybe with a daschund?) is in a pink sweatsuit. She's got sweat bands and seems to love the applause.
• Now comes Elmo the Norwich Terrier. (Think Best in Show.) Of course, Elmo's in red.
• Now we have Mojo the Pug mix. He's wearing an Eagles Jersey (with hood and wrist bands). Guess we know who the crowd fave is, now!
• Sweetie the Maltese just had a small wardrobe malfunction but all is good now. She's wearing a pink sweater and rhinestones. Maybe a bit flashy for activewear, but cute nonetheless.
• Geisha the toy Pomeranean is wearing a birdwatching jacket and matching cap. So cute we can't stand it.
• The blue long-haired Chihuahua, Kiki Sky Blue, is wearing a denim bedazzled jacket with maribou trim and a special hat. She seems not to want to walk through the crowd—mommy had to drag her.
• Kokomo, the Chihuahua/Shih-Tzu mix, is all ready for the hunt—with ear flaps!
• Cindy Bell, the Chihuahua/Jack Russel mix, is being walked by a very young excort. Her tee is so NoLibs!
• Last but not least, a late entry, Joey the Chihuahua, is wearing an Anthropologie sweater with rhinestones. For serious.

4:22: Leslie Hughes, Sally Sue's mommy, has just been introduced, which means we can officially start. Leslie is filling us in on the judges: two ladies from PAWS, plus the first (NYC) Barking Beauty, Eli (with his mommy). He is now the Small Dog Milk Bone Dog Biscuit box dog. A celeb in our midst!

4:15: We're still waiting for a few bios from the late arrivals, and then we'll be starting. Yay! (An aside: L'Etage has switched from serving Woodchuck Pear Cider to Ace Pear Cider. We applaud this decision. It's delicious.)

4:07: We're about to start. The contestants are getting into place and Ross is giddy at the photos he's taking. Especially the one above.

3:53 In addition to the canine competitors, there are more than a few pups in the audience. It's starting to look (and sound!) like an indoor dog park. With beer. In other words, heaven.

3:50: The raffle's just been announced, and prizes include... a rug. Which is actually kind of a perfect prize for a dog. Something else to sleep on all day—or to tear up.

3:45: The excitement is palpable. Kind of. The dogs sure seem happy, though! Yorkshire Terrier and event co-host Sally Sue, a vision in sequins and ruffles, keeps running up to the photographers to distract the other dogs. Her mommy, in a matching outfit, is very apologetic, but nobody minds too much.

3:30: The contestants are starting to arrive, and after checking in, they're all being photographed by the photographers from Sit Pretty Photos. As awesome as it must be to spend your days surrounded by adorable animals, we can't imagine that it's an easy job. Still, ::jealousy::!