Update: Digg this, please!

As the second most famous person who has slept with Jessica Simpson once said,

“Fathers be good to your daughters / daughters will live like you do / girls become lovers who turn into mothers / so mothers be good to your daughters too”

Somewhere along the way, a father was not good to a daughter.

It’s well-established that as a father your number one job is to keep your little girl off of the pole and out of the solicitation for sexual services industry.

I am in no position to knock anyone’s chosen profession, let alone when that profession is the world’s oldest. However, I’d be remiss to ignore a tip we received from IvyGate about a local “student.”

I introduce to you, Eva, a local entrepreneur. Her stats seem up to snuff as does being a certified GFE. It's not only that she's selling herself, but she's really selling herself – come hither poses and all with her face conveniently disguised by blond locks of hair and her body barely disguised by "jorts" that would make Daisy Duke cringe. I'm pretty sure you can even see her "Britney" in one of these pictures.

Puke.

Here's the kicker - the "application" that you have to fill out in order to become a paying customer.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiight. I'm going to give my work telephone number, the company I work for (and its website), and every other piece of personal information to a woman who may (or may not) be lying to me about whether she does or does not attened a local, prestigious university. Riiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Here's the thing (and I'm going to call this the "Strip Club Corrollary" for lack of a better term): service women will tell you anything in order to gather more dollar bills to pay off their "college loans" (read: meth dealers), "work their way through college" (just an excuse so they can sleep through the night), or support their illegitimate children (probably the most accurate justification for this job type).

How do we know that you, Eva, attend Wharton? Yes, Eva, we're directing this at YOU. Please get in touch with us. You can write me personally.

Please attach your current semester's schedule because we're not buying it; neither as men or as citizens of this fair city. Is it too much to ask to be truthful? Maybe you're selling sex in order to save up for that overseas trip you've always been dreaming to take?

Discourtesy is unspeakably ugly to me and lying about where you go to school is just discourteous. Hey, I went to Penn State (although, there's an unwarranted dig at PSU within the IvyGate blog link above) and I'm happy about that. Note to all of you Penn students out there, not once in my time at PSU was there a known strumpet traipsing around the hallowed streets of State College.

So, let that be a lesson to you. Send your children to Penn State. If you're from Pennsylvania, you even get a discount. If you're not, however, you probably are better off sending your baby girl to Penn – it costs just as much as Penn State does for out of state students and at least she'll be able to help out with the tuition.

Hooking Image Credit: Flickr user telethon.
Application Image adapted from Eva's page.