These Philadelphia Wings Can Sell Out an Arena

If you haven’t noticed, the Philadelphia sports climate is pretty bleak these days. The Sixers suck. The Eagles are golfing. The Flyers are irrelevant. And the Phillies are currently nickel-and-diming perhaps the greatest slugger in a generation, hoping that an arbitrator will make him play for a relative pittance. So there is pretty much no reason to go to an arena or stadium near you to watch our local pituitary cases compete in the games of chance. And yet, on February 1, the lowest common denominator of our fine city will flock to the Wachovia Center. They will begin tailgating at 4 a.m. Come 6 a.m., they will enter the building, whereupon they will take their seats and longingly ogle the “Wingettes” in their bras and panties. They will buy $8 Bud Lights from the concession stands, and will be completely wasted before many of us have stepped in the shower. They will stand and cheer at fat losers as they stuff their filthy gobs with artery-clogging Buffalo wings. When the spectacle has concluded and a “winner” is announced, these fine gents, fresh from the most intimate contact they have had with a woman in eons, will file out of the doors and head straight to the nearest strip club to further sate their throbbing libidos. Bear in mind that this will probably be the most intellectual activity that these fellows will have indulged in all week. At the end of the day, they will vomit in the public common and drunkenly drive their vehicles home in a treacherous version of “Commuter Roulette.” Sound like fun? Then, by all means, head over to South Philly for the 610-WIP-sponsored Wing Bowl 16, “The Showdown in the Hot Sauce.” (To tailgate. This flimsy excuse to get wasted actually sold out a major sports arena... AGAIN.)

Wing Bowl 16
Wachovia Center
3601 S Broad St # 1
Fri., Feb. 1, 6 a.m.
Sold Out
Radio: 610 WIP, 5:30 A.M. to 10:00 A.M.

Image Credit: Flickr user Junhao!