Monday Manners: Parental Units

I don't have kids, so I may not be the most qualified person to write about today's topic. But I have a mom and a dad, and I'm young enough to remember living under their parentage, so I'm not completely unqualified. Especially because I'm not writing this column on where to change diapers, whether breastfeeding in public is okay, or how to generally raise your kids. Instead, I'm only going to mention that, when you're out in public with your offspring, you should keep yourself in check. It's not that I don't think you should be strict with your children (I do) – it's just that you should be aware that to the eyes and ears of the general public, there's a fine line between disciplinarian and asshole. Take, for instance, this actual conversation I overheard in a food court recently:

Daughter: Dad, where's Cindy?
Father: I don't know.
Daughter: Well, is she coming home with us?
Father: I don't know.
Daughter: Why?
Father: Because she's sick and tired of your brother's behavior.
Son: What'd I do?
Father: You're acting like a child. You're eight years old, so you're old enough to understand this: Cindy and I are married now. I plan on spending the next twenty to thirty years of my life with her. I'm only stuck with you until you're eighteen. Twenty-one, tops.
Son: [Speechless.]
Father: And another thing. No more eating with your hands. I don't care if you're eating French fries. You're using a fork. And a knife. You're disgusting.

At this point, I got up and left, lest I try to kidnap an eight-year-old from his father.

Needless to say, folks: This is not how you talk to your kids. Especially not when other people can hear you. Have we learned nothing from Alec Baldwin? Even though I don't have kids of my own, I feel reasonably confident in calling this bad parenting. Also bad parenting? Hitting or spanking your children in public. (Or, for the most part at least, in private.) Calling your kids four-letter words—whether in jest or not—especially because kids are so likely to pick that sort of thing up from you. Answering tantrum with tantrum. Telling your kids "yeah, well I hate you too" when they tearfully tell you they hate you. In short, the things that you've probably seen dozens of people do to their children. You may have even witnessed some bad parenting today.

But what place does this have in a manners column? I'm certainly not suggesting that these behaviors are okay when not done in front of polite company. But I'm also not saying that you shouldn't discipline your children at all. It's just that maybe, maybe, by being more cautious about your public behavior, you'll pick up the good behavior to use in your private life. Because you're probably not such a bad parent after all.

Image via Flickr user dreamsjung.