Monday Manners: Feeding Frenzy

Use your RSVP list to guide you.
Had the organizers of last week's reception paid much attention to their mandatory RSVP list, they would have noticed that they needed at least three times the food they ended up having. When you're throwing a party that involves food or alcohol that you will be providing, it's very important that you ask guests to RSVP. (Granted, we didn't at the Phillyist party – but it was being held at a bar with a kitchen, so there was no way we were going to run out of either.) After reviewing your guest list, assume that approximately five percent of you guests will cancel at the last minute – but that at least that many will also call or email you at the last minute asking if they can bring guests, or, if they didn't RSVP yet, if it's too late to let you know that they will be coming. (The polite answer, unfortunately, is almost always: "Of course it's not too late!") As such, you should always err on the side of gluttony: too much food, too much alcohol.

Divide your guest list.
Because the evening was broken up into two parts, the reception and then the event, it would have been very simple for the organizers of last week's event to invite only a limited number of people to the reception, and invite everyone else to the event only. If you're having a large party, you don't need to feed a bunch of strangers: make sure the people who really matter to you come earlier so that you can take care of them (and, as a result of the smaller group, actually get to spend some time with them) – then open the doors for everyone else.

Evaluate your guest list.
Along the same lines, you should think about whether everyone you're planning to invite really needs to be at your party. Start with the essentials: who or what is the party being held for? Invite the people most relevant to your goal first, then determine whether invited parties should be allowed to bring guests, and how many. After that, determine how many more people you can afford to entertain. And then decide whether it's worth blowing your budget to invite a bunch of people who you didn't care enough about to have on your first round of invitations.

Get creative with your menu.
There are a lot of ways to spend a buck when it comes to food. You might have champagne wishes and caviar dreams, but if you want to make sure you don't run out of food for your guests, you may have to settle for (gasp!) pinot grigio and a cheese plate. Carefully examine all of your menu options. If you want your party to be catered, try pricing a few caterers before deciding on one. (Just make sure you get to taste-test, first – cheap doesn't always mean tasty.) If you're cooking yourself, try going with store brands rather than name brands. Go to New Jersey or Delaware to buy your booze (you'll easily recoup the gas money in extra savings). Serve cocktail meatballs with toothpicks already placed in them, so that people are encouraged to take one or two at a time, rather than serve themselves by the spoonful. The job I held as an undergrad saw to it that I was often buying reception food on a miniscule budget – and it's entirely possible to have a lovely reception for forty and spend under $150. You just can't have caviar.

Don't let people serve themselves.
If food is tight at your catered event, let the caterers pass and/or serve the food, rather than laying it out for your guests to pick at. (The disaster reception, though catered, featured a serve-yourself buffet.) Free food often leads to a free-for-all, with people heaping their plates with far more food than they really need or want. If caterers stick to a predetermined serving size, your guests will still be sated, and your stores won't run out until the end of the night – even if people ask for seconds. Or thirds.

Use small plates – or go plateless.
Fact: nobody likes an empty-looking plate. That's why restaurants fill plates with garnishes or have specially-sized plates to correspond with different items on the menu. At a reception, where people stand and often serve themselves or have a few items placed indelicately by a caterer on a plate that they then have to eat from while standing, empty space on a plate isn't filled by parsley sprigs and raspberry emulsions. Instead, it's usually filled by more food. Having smaller plates available will encourage guests to take less food in one serving, and to eat it slower. (When you eat slowly, you're also likely to eat less, thereby leaving more food for the other guests.) If you're feeling especially radical, don't have plates at all. Just leave cocktail napkins around the room, and make sure that the food you're serving can be eaten in one or two bites without making a mess on the floor or your guests' clothing.

Consider your circumstances.
Last week's reception was being hosted by a nonprofit, and the food served was likely donated. If you're having a party where the food you're serving is coming to you for free or at a steep discount, take note: your generous contributors probably won't be contributing enough for the whole party. If you even kind of worry that you'll be running out of food, seek back-up contributions. Of course, if your event is being sponsored exclusively by a restaurant or caterer, you can't ask for other food donations. But you can buy a few fruit trays and some brownies or cookies so that there's more food on the buffet table for people to grab, and they'll keep moving down the line without heaping their plates up with the good (read: donated) stuff. Maybe you'll even get a nibble.

Image via Flickr user MoToMo