Eagles: Most Negative Top Five Ever!

2. Despite the media’s grabbing for the readymade hook of McNabb’s ride to redemption after a tumultuous week with the Philadelphia fans—when does this whiner not have a tumultuous week with the fans?—McNabb didn’t do anything special. I’ll give him props for that huge, late-second-half run that set up his short touchdown pass to Reggie Brown, but he was still out there missing receivers and taking sacks per usual. Repeatedly, the Eagles drove into Dallas territory or took advantage of Romo gaffes to set up great field possession, and it resulted in a touchdown and a field goal. Admittedly, the Eagles would have had another field goal if it weren’t for David Akers’ career declining faster than Amy Winehouse’s, but take a look at the numbers: 23 for 41 for 208 yards. Little more than 5.1 yards per attempt. You know your season is in the toilet when the media starts convincing itself that those numbers are Johnny Unitas territory.

3. Andy Reid is still coaching with his head up his ass. Here's his latest piece of brilliance: Quentin Mikell intercepts a Romo pass in the endzone. Despite the fact that there are oodles of Cowboys around him, he tries to get somewhere with the ball. After getting ten futile yards with the pigskin, he is drilled. He fumbles the ball and the Cowboys recover. Is Mikell an unbelievable imbecile for nullifying an Eagles interception by handing it right back to the Cowboys at their 14? Sure. But here is where it really gets mind-blowing. The Cowboys run to the line to get a play off before the Eagles can challenge. Reid “outsmarts” them by calling a timeout so they can review the play and see if they should challenge. So they review the play, and even though it is clear as day that Mikell fumbled legitimately, Reid chooses to burn ANOTHER timeout to challenge the call. The call on the field is upheld, and the Eagles end up burning not one, but TWO timeouts, which almost bites them in the ass when the Eagles march it down the field at the end of the first half. Did it work out here? Uh, kind of. Do you win Super Bowls, playoff games, or contests against non-catatonic squads when you commit this sort of clock mismanagement on a regular basis? Eh-eh.

4. We commit the dumbest penalties of any team in the league. Here’s the latest beaut: While defending a long pass to Jason Witten, Brian Dawkins gets turned around and has to place his arms up in the air hoping that he will either distract Witten from catching the ball or the pass will luckily deflect off his flailing arms. The pass falls incomplete, but a flag is thrown. But why? While Dawkins' defense was not textbook, it was not illegal either because he did not make contact with Witten. Anyway, turns out the call was not on Dawkins. It was on... A.J. Feeley. The man who went from a Philadelphia fan favorite to the devil incarnate when he treated an opposing linebacker to three gift interceptions in a game against the Seahawks accidentally ran into a referee as he tried to enjoy the greatest seat in the house on Sunday: the Texas Stadium sideline. The result was a 15-yard unsportsmanlike conduct penalty and free yardage for a Cowboys team who would’ve needed a police escort to move the ball yesterday.

5. The guy who made the game-saving interception on Sunday? He’s going to be cut next year. Yes, you heard it here first. Brian Dawkins. Weapon X. Perhaps the greatest warrior ever to ply his trade in the Eagles secondary is going to be unceremoniously dumped next year. And it is nothing we should cry over. This is how the Eagles work. The list of victims is long and deep, like a Donovan McNabb pass to a wide open receiver that was only supposed to go 20 yards: Hugh Douglas. Jeremiah Trotter. Bobby Taylor. Troy Vincent. Dawkins has been banged up all year. Realistically, he may have one to two productive years left, but he will not spend them here. If there is one thing the Eagles know how to do it is get out while they're ahead. They will cut him and force him to sign with a stiff team, like the Minnesota Vikings or Arizona Cardinals, teams looking to make that jump to the next level by bringing in a locker room presence who can still bring it on the days when the knees aren’t aching. But as for his days in Eagle green? Enjoy them because they won’t be around for long.

Just so you know, I have no reason to believe that last segment is true. I am just doing everything I can to turn you against the Eagles right now. I know how it is, because I have flip-flopped a little bit myself this year. It would be easy to see yesterday’s win against the Cowboys as a harbinger for things to come. After all, if they can come together to beat the NFC’s best team, why wouldn’t they be able to pull out two more victories against pretenders like New Orleans (on road) and Buffalo (at the Linc). But here’s the thing: It ain’t gonna happen. Not this team. Not this year. Even if they got into the playoffs in this horrific year of our NFC 2007, what would it be for? Another date with top Eagles receiver Lofa Tatupu of the Seattle Seahawks or a slaughter at the hands of the Tampa Bay Buccaneers and their diminutive leader Jeff (gulp!) Garcia? Trust me. An Eagles playoff berth is the last team this town's damaged psyche needs. So I'm pleading with the Eagles organization. No more wins. You've given us bragging rights over Dallas. That is swell. Now do what you do best: Get out while you're ahead.

Image credit to flickr user Brett L.