December 17, 2007
Countdown to 2008: Jim's Top 10 Least Anticipated Movies of 2008
Every weekday of December (except for December 25, that is), Phillyist will be counting down to 2008 with our highlights from the past year and our predictions for the next. If you have a list you'd like to submit, let us know!
(Check out my most anticipated movies, too.)
10. The Day the Earth Stood Still
So, you're needlessly remaking one of the most perfect science fiction films of all time, just to make a buck, and you're putting Keanu Reeves in the main role? I hate you, Hollywood.
9. In the Name of the King: A Dungeon Siege Tale
The cast is impressive, and I love an epic fantasy movie. But there are two words that should quickly and easily make clear to you why this is going to be a terrible, terrible film, and those two words are "Uwe" and "Boll."
8. Wild Child
I don't really know much about this movie; there doesn't appear to be a lot of information readily available about it. All I know is it's a romantic comedy (which is a strike against it right there in my book), and the plot summary goes like this: "A rebellious Malibu princess is shipped off to a strict English boarding school by her father." Gack!
7. Meet the Spartans
6. Superhero!
Both of these movies are entries in the comedy parody genre. The first takes on 300, the other a handful of the most recent superhero movies. Recent entries in this genre have all been quite terrible, probably because they're clearly just churned out as quickly as possible in an attempt to ride on the coattails of whatever type of film is popular at the moment. Also, if Superhero! is the best title you can come up with for your superhero parody movie, I'm guessing you don't have a lot of imagination (although, admittedly, Airplane! is awesome). Add in the fact that both movies were made by guys involved in the creation of the later entries in the god-awful Scary Movie series, and you've got a number of really excellent reasons to stay away.
5. The Eye
Another American J-horror remake. Besides the fact that I'm really tired of this trend at this point, it's pretty much always true that the American remake is nowhere near as good as the original. And in this case, I even hated the original!
4. He's Just Not That Into You
A movie adaptation of a lame relationship advice book?! Which is made up of interconnecting story arcs?!? HATE!!!
3. Skid Marks
A string of incredibly juvenile and unimaginative dick jokes which together tell the story of a scrappy, down-on-its-luck ambulance company trying to win out against another ambulance company made up of evil cheaters. In case you're afraid it might be a little too high-brow for you, the trailer makes it clear that there will be plenty of jokes about fatties and midgets, too.
2. What Happens in Vegas...
So, right off the bat, the title is one half of an incredibly overplayed, overused cliche that I am sick to death of. And then you read the plot summary, and it's all cliches, too! Two people wake up after a night of drunken debauchery in Vegas to find they've gotten married! Woah! Turns out one of them won a huge jackpot using the other's quarter, too, so they try to undermine each other to get their hands on the money - but fall in love along the way. Excuse me while I go over in the corner here and barf all over myself. Did I mention that it stars Cameron Diaz, Ashton Kutcher, and Queen Latifah? Wait, I'm going to barf again.
1. College Road Trip
A Disney movie about an overprotective cop Dad accompanying his daughter on her tour around the country to select the perfect college, with wacky hi-jinks ensuing left and right, would already sound awful to me. But then add on the fact that the Dad is played by Martin Lawrence and the daughter is played by TV's Raven, and you've sealed the deal: I hate your movie!
Image via Cinerama







