Because Brat Productions is opening a very tongue-in-cheek Scientology play this week, we thought it only fitting that we use a quote by L. Ron Hubbard to kick off this week's listings. It runs in full: “Freedom is for honest people. No man who is not himself honest can be free – he is his own trap.” Now, on with the listings!
A Very Merry Unauthorized Children's Scientology Pageant - We hear TomKat may make an appearance with Suri. December 13-30. Tickets online.
Winter Musicale - Sing along, everybody! December 13-23. Call 215.785.0100 for tickets.
The World Goes 'Round - And round, and round, and round. December 13-30. Tickets online.
The Complete Works of William Shakespeare (Abridged) - Melt would flesh solid too too this that, oh! Through December 23. Tickets online.
Holiday Show at the Swing Club - Not that kind of swing club, you perv. Through December 31. For information, call 610.283.2230.
I Hate Hamlet - Why? What'd he ever do to you? Through December 15. Tickets online.
The Nutcracker - Ouch! Through December 29. Tickets online.
The Santaland Diaries - As opposed to the North Pole Diaries. Those are less cynical. Through December 16. Tickets online.
Age of Arousal - Sounds... naughty! Through January 6. Tickets online.
Ain't Misbehavin' - We're savin' our love for you. Through December 31. Tickets online.
The Eight: Reindeer Monologues - Rudolph, apparently, was not invited. Through December 31. Reservations: 215.923.0210.
Striking 12 - Hickory Dickory Dock. Through December 31. Tickets online.
Vieux Carre - Stellaaaaa! Oh wait, wrong play. Through December 22. Tickets online.
A Christmas Carol - Marley was dead, to begin with. Through December 30. Tickets online.
A Christmas Story - Now, about that BB gun... Through December 15. Tickets online.
Christmas City Follies - Ah, the follies of youth – and December! Through December 23. Tickets online.
The Curious Savage - We always thought savages were pretty one-dimensional, actually. Through December 15. Tickets online.
HAIR - Let the sunshine in. Through December 15. Tickets online.
An O. Henry Christmas - The irony! Through December 16. Tickets online.
This Is the Week That Is: More Political Humor for the Holidays - For even more political humor, turn to Fox News. Through January 13. Tickets online.
Greater Tuna - Or is it chicken? Through December 30. Tickets online.
Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat - Any dream will do. Through December 30. Ticket information online.
Treasure Island - Mmmm... popcorn chicken and hush puppies... Through December 30. Tickets online.
Peter Pan - Even thinking about the play has us singing the music from it. Through January 6. Tickets online.
Hello Dolly! - What about Dolly's clone? (What? You don't mean the sheep?) Through December 23. For information, call 302.475.2313.
ComedySportz - You know Whose Line Is It Anyway? Yeah, it's kinda like that. Open run. Tickets online.
The N Crowd - More local improv. Open ended run. Tickets and information online.
Tony n' Tina's Wedding - It's like My Big Fat Greek Wedding for a South Philly audience. Open run. Tickets and information at 1.800.660.TINA.
Menopause: The Musical - The name says it all, doesn't it? Open run. Tickets online.
If you've got a theater listing in the Philadelphia area, let us know! Also feel absolutely free to post other listings on the comments page!
Image via Brat Productions.



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