This week's quote is by William Archer, who wrote: "The drama is not dead but liveth, and contains the germs of better things." Now, on with the listings!
Arsenic and Old Lace - A most deadly combination. October 19-November 3. Reservations online.
Breathing Corpses - Something tells us that that’s not right. October 20-November 4. Tickets online.
Last of the Boys - But… What about the world’s population? October 19-November 18. Tickets online.
Titanic: The Musical - Celine Dion need not apply. October 18-November 14. Ticket information online.
Tuesdays with Morrie - It’s a better custody deal than Britney Spears got! October 19-27. For reservations, call 888.715.5589.
An Act of the Imagination - It is, after all, the best kind. October 11-November 17. Tickets online.
Boy Gets Girl - We think we’ve heard that story before. October 12-21. Tickets online.
An Empty Plate in the Café du Grand Boeuf - That had better be one yummy-tasting plate! October 11-December 9. Tickets online.
Hello Dolly! - What about Dolly’s clone? (What? You don’t mean the sheep?) October 12-December 23. For information, call 302.475.2313.
Rhinoceros - Ionesco! With puppets! (Yeah, we’re having trouble picturing it, too.) Through October 27. Ticket information online.
The Rocky Horror Show - No description needed for this one, snarky or otherwise. Through October 31. Ticket information at 609.291.9000.
Six Characters in Search of an Author - Sounds like that won’t end well. Through November 4. Tickets online.
Things You Shouldn’t Say Past Midnight - We can think of a few. Through October 20. Information online.
The Why - And, um, who’s on first again? Through October 28. Tickets online.
Beyond Therapy - That’s what Freud said. Through October 14. Ticket information online.
Death and the Maiden - Is that kind of like “cake or death?” Through October 27. Ticket information online.
I Do! I Do! - Oh do you, now? Through October 21. Ticket information online.
Dog Sees God - Is he dyslexic? Through October 13. Tickets online.
Three Tall Women - A show this Phillyist would never be cast in. Through October 27. Ticket information online here.
A Night in the Old Marketplace - Two words: Klezmer. Music. Through October 21. Tickets online.
Picasso at the Lapin Agile - Picasso and Einstein walk into a bar… Ouch? Through October 13. Call 302.368.2248 for tickets.
Say Goodnight Gracie - “Goodnight, Gracie!” Through October 21. Tickets online.
The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe - We’ve ceased to believe in such things. Through October 28. Tickets online.
Amadeus - We know it’s a great piece of contemporary drama about a great classical composer… but somehow, whenever we walk past the Wilma, we just get that Falco song stuck in our heads. Through October 27. Tickets online.
Man of La Mancha - If it’s impossible, how exactly are you dreaming it, anyway? Through October 21. Ticket information here.
Miss Saigon - We’ll give you a hint: it’s not called that anymore. Through October 14. Tickets online.
Assassins - Yep, it’s a musical about successful and attempted presidential assassinations. Seriously. Through October 21. Tickets online.
The Lonesome West - What, no other cowboys to play with? Through October 6. Extended through October 14. Tickets online.
ComedySportz - You know Whose Line Is It Anyway? Yeah, it’s kinda like that. Open run. Tickets online.
The N Crowd - More local improv. Open ended run. Tickets and information online.
Tony n’ Tina’s Wedding - It’s like My Big Fat Greek Wedding for a South Philly audience. Open run. Tickets and information at 1.800.660.TINA.
Menopause: The Musical - The name says it all, doesn't it? Open run. Tickets online.
If you've got a theater listing in the Philadelphia area, let us know! Also feel absolutely free to post other listings on the comments page!
Image via Flickr user gemsling.

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