They Tried to Make Me Go to Rehab, I Said "I'm Actually Kind of Tired"

One of the more hilarious perks of writing for Phillyist is that we occasionally receive press releases and statements from overworked press flacks trying to make their musician clients look like the second coming of The Beatles. It's rare, however, that we get a press release that actually reduces us to helpless laughter, which is what happened when we got an email from Amy Winehouse's spokesperson announcing that Amy Winehouse was cancelling her US tour due to 'exhaustion.'

Look, this Phillyist isn't new to the idea that 'exhaustion' equals 'overdose' in flackspeak - just ask Lindsay Lohan's poor, overworked spokesperson. What we find kind of hilarious, however, is the idea that, thanks to the loquacious and sensationalistic British tabs (seriously, The Sun, you warm our evil, mocking heart), everyone and their mother knows that Ms. Winehouse overdosed on everything from heroin (smoked, not injected!) to horse tranquilizers - on top of drinking her face off - entered rehab, left rehab, had a brain scan and... actually, I'm not sure where she is right now.

Naturally, that ping-pong game of checking into and out of rehab must be tiring. Just look at Pete Doherty. (Actually, don't. He's kind of frightening, and we wish D.A.R.E. would just hang posters of him up to encourage kids to stay off drugs, because we're pretty sure it would work.) But honestly, when your client has had that spectacular an overdose on top of careening to US fame on the heels of a single detailing how everyone in her life thinks she's completely messed up but that she doesn't want to go to rehab...'exhaustion and the rigors of touring'? Really?

Well, get some sleep, Amy. Apparently, you really need it.

...On a similar note, would it be bad form to take bets on how swiftly Eddie Van Halen has to run back to rehab for 'exhaustion' now that he's touring with David Lee Roth again? We're setting the over/under at three months, and we're only giving him that long because his kid's on tour with them. (Seriously, David Lee Roth would drive us to drink, too.)

Image Credit: Flickr user Sandwich!