This Week in Celebrity...

...Haircuts: Mena Suvari has not pulled a Britney. She's just making a movie. (Via ABC and The New York Post.)

...Tastelessness: O.J. Simpson isn't even trying to pretend anymore, is he? (Via Ross, via Yahoo!)

...Desperation: Britney is a lonely, lonely girl. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?)

...Legal Glitches: Lily Allen isn't allowed to work in America anymore – and we're not entirely sure why. (Via The Superficial.)

...Spoiled Brats: Oh yeah. Paris Hilton is all reformed, all right. (Via People.com.)

...Ummmm: This isn't about a celebrity, per se, but it's definitely worth reading. (Via Fox News.)

...Nuptials: Well that child support lawsuit just got a little more complicated! (Via Monsters and Critics.)

...Bribery: Madonna is crooked. (Via MSNBC.)

...Death: This. Is. Terrifying. (Via ABC.)

...Popularity: Wow. You must be a special kind of shithead if even Britney Spears won't sit next to you at lunch. (Via Gatecrasher.)

...Legal Woes: It seriously took that long for them to put R. Kelly on trial? Seriously? (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?)

...Custody Battles: It's not that we like Kevin Federline all that much. It's just that we think he's the lesser of two evils. (Via People.com.)

Image via ABC.