Yeah, yeah. That term seems oxymoronic to its very core, with punk being all anti-establishment and all. But really, being a bit of an anarchist doesn't have to mean being rude. (Really. Plenty of people in the establishment are rude enough – you're probably more of a rebel if you're nice to everyone.)

Which is why it might perhaps be time for a quick column on mosh pit/crowd surfing/other show behavior etiquette, in the wake of last Friday's Vans Warped Tour in Camden, which I attended with new Phillyist staffer Ross. (That coverage should be up very soon!) Before I begin, I should note that I don't crowd surf (the last time somebody tried to get me to do so, he ended up bleeding), and that I try to avoid mosh pits whenever possible. That being said, I attended a lot of punk shows in high school (it is possible to like the music without embodying the aesthetic), and still continue to listen to a fair amount of punk music (although a lot of it, lately, is really bad), so it's not like I'm not familiar, and intimately so, with this week's topic.

After the jump, a few tips on being the politest punk you can be, without having to reform for the man.

Footwear
I have been kicked in the head with a steel-toed combat boot before, and let me tell you: it is not fun. (What was even less fun about it was that the steel-toe-clad teen was crowd surfing at a Weezer show. Seriously.) If you're planning on crowd surfing, then, you should probably keep your shoes in mind: don't wear something that can do serious injury to anyone should you accidentally kick them. On the other hand, don't crowd surf in flip-flops. There's almost no way those babies are staying on your feet, as evidenced by the giant pile of orphaned sandals I saw under each stage at the Tweeter on Friday. If you're wearing flip-flops and the need to surf hits you, take them off and hand them to a non-surfing friend before you go. Few things are ruder than dropping your shoe on someone's head.

On the moshing side of things: wear whatever you want on your feet, but if you're wearing steel-toes, try hard not to kick anyone.

Personal Space
Mosh pits exist, in large part, so that you can slam into the other people around you: violence without fear of retribution. (Well, other than being slammed right back.) Mosh pits do not exist as an opportunity for you to grope, fondle, or otherwise molest others in the pit. If there are girls in the pit (sometimes, there are), do not, repeat DO NOT use the pit as an opportunity to feel them up. That is not why they're there. Similarly, don't smash into the, er, "private parts" of others in the pit. I guarantee you that nobody around you is wearing a cup.

Meanwhile, it's a little more difficult to discern between "good touch" and "bad touch" when you're crowd surfing. That hand on your ass may be there because it's grabbing your ass, but it's equally likely that it's there to keep you from falling. If you're going to surf, chances are, you're going to have strangers' hands in places you'd rather not have them. If this bothers you, don't surf. If it doesn't bother you, just try not to wear clothing (short skirts, loose-fitting shorts, low-cut tops) that makes you vulnerable to wandering hands. And gentlemen? Don't crowd surf face-down. That's just icky.

Respect the Security People
We get it. You're punk. Fuck authority and all that. But when you're at a concert, those guys in the yellow shirts (is it me, or are they always yellow?) standing in front of the stage aren't trying to spoil your fun. They're just trying to keep you safe, and make sure everyone else has a good time. So as you crowd surf your way in their direction, know that they're going to help you get over the barrier and back into the crowd. Do not fight them on this. They are bigger than you.

Projectiles
As the Paramore set was about to begin, I got hit in the back of the head with a plastic cup full of water. This was needlessly stupid because water cost three bucks at the venue, but I didn't mind because, hey, it was water in a plastic cup. Occupational hazard of standing in the press pit, I guess. However, many things that people throw at concerts tend not to be so harmless. Even innocuous-seeming plastic bottles can hurt quite a bit when they hit you hard enough. Glass bottles (now no longer available at most concert venues for this very reason) are incredibly dangerous when launched at a stage, and aluminum cans, while not terribly heavy, can still do a great amount of damage if they're crushed before they're thrown. Keep in mind that you're there to enjoy the concert, and other people are there to enjoy the concert, and you don't want to be the asshole who ruins it for everybody by seriously injuring someone in the crowd, or, worse yet, one of the security people (see above). Instead, try opting for (as many people did) inflated condoms (unlubricated, please!), available for free in their uninflated form at the Trojan tent. They don't hurt, and they make people laugh. Punks can laugh too. Promise.

Image: crowd surfers during Bad Religion's set at Warped Tour, by Phillyist Ross.