Whiz of the Web: Friday Fried Onions

A steaming hot pile of our favorite things from around the internets.

• Stop! Do not, whatever you do, put that Elmo in your mouth. Trust us.
• Sometimes, good things can happen in the blogosphere: I-Reporters in Minnesota provided some of the first news about this week's tragic bridge collapse. The photos they snapped provide a very clear image of what happened in the first moments after the accident.
• Heh. Yahoo is lucky they didn't misspell Schuylkill.
• Well, if you're going to serve time in prison, you might as well stay where Gandhi was held. How... inspiring?
• No shocker here: the next version of Microsoft Office for Mac won't be ready on time. Howsabout we make a rule that it's only news when Microsoft isn't delayed?
• Three cheers for advances in modern medicine – neuroscience, to be exact. A group of doctors and researchers claim to have returned a man's ability to speak several years after it was lost due to brain damage incurred during a mugging.
• Funding for science and technology? We're okay with that!
• Are you one of those people who doesn't have a landline? Well, would you consider using one if making calls was practically free?
• Poop!
• We have no idea why we find this so amusing, but we do: Scarface versus the female orgasm.
• And to conclude: awwwwwwwww!

Image via Flickr user corazón girl.