Monday Manners: Clothes Make the (Wo)Man

Flip-flops.
I’m lucky. I have a job at which I can wear flip-flops if I so choose, and I do so with great regularity. However, even knowing how casual my office is, I wouldn’t have dreamed of wearing flip-flops when I interviewed here. As a matter of fact, I wore heels. (Okay, I wore flip-flops as far as the lobby and changed shoes in the elevator.) Why? I’ve spoken to several people in charge of interviewing prospective employees, all of whom responded with something akin to shock or horror every time an applicant would come in wearing flip-flops. Even if they were high-heeled flip-flops. When you’re going in for an interview, everything about you indicates your degree of respect for the place at which you’re trying to get a job. Flip-flops indicate that you didn’t care enough about your interview to put on real shoes. Is it silly? Maybe a little. But the fact of the matter is, unless the job you’re applying for is at your local pool, wearing flip-flops will most likely be considered rude by those interviewing you.

Other times you should probably avoid flip-flops:

• Black-tie events.


• Funerals. Especially graveside services.


• Weddings, Bar Mitzvahs, or any other ceremonies taking place in a house of worship.


• The months of November through April. That’s more common sense than manners, except to the doctors who would really rather not amputate your toes due to frostbite.

White.
There are those who would say that it’s only okay to wear white from Memorial Day through Labor Day. While you probably don’t want to wear a white dress in the middle of December (unless you’re getting married), I think that that old convention is mostly bullshit. And I’m from the South. However, if you’re going to wear white, you need to be smart about it, as this post on LAist demonstrates. There are few things more rude than showing people parts of your anatomy—or lingerie collection—that they don’t have any desire to see.

When buying white clothing, do some sort of a lighting test to be sure that your new pants aren’t completely transparent the moment the sun hits them. If that cute white sundress you just bought does turn out to be more than a little sheer, wear a slip. I know it’s old-fashioned, but it’s better than showing the world your goods. Remember, as the LAist post also points out: if you’re wearing undergarments under your white clothing, they should be beige, not white: it seems counter-intuitive, but just look at the evidence.

Blue Jeans.
I could wear blue jeans 365 days per year and be completely happy. However, that wouldn’t be appropriate, now would it?

Although “dressy” jeans are becoming more acceptable for business goings-on and cocktail parties, you still shouldn’t wear them, say, in the boardroom (unless most of your board is similarly attired), in court (unless it’s cowboy court), or to opening night at the Opera (unless it’s the Santa Fe Opera – that’s an entirely different, albeit wonderful, animal). And for those occasions on which it is acceptable to wear denim? Make sure your jeans are hole-free. Save your holey jeans for Saturdays at the grocery store. Or naughty nights out. Whatever the case may be.

Cleave, Tummy, and Thigh.
Low-cut, boobie-bearing tops are great for nighttime. But keep your push-up bra at home during the day. Ditto your midriff-bearing crop top and your super-short skirts. These are not the kind of clothing you should be wearing to work. Unless you happen to work here or here. (Both links are moderately NSFW, and I’m going to go out on a limb here and assume the misspelled word on that second page is intentional.)

Sweatpants and Pajamas.
Sure, they’re comfortable. But you look like a tool. That is all.

Don’t Overdo It.
While it’s important not to be too casual when you’re out and about (especially when you’re at work), it’s also important that you not err too far in the other direction, either. Say your workplace is business casual. Sure, you might occasionally have an important meeting at which a suit is required – or you might just have a day on which you wear a suit because it’s the only clean thing in your closet. You want to be at least as well-dressed as your peers, or, in the event of the aforementioned interview scenario, perhaps a bit better-dressed than they. But if you’re in a business casual environment, do not, for the love of your respective deity, wear a suit every day. Otherwise, you’ll be known behind your back as “that asshole who wears a suit every day.” And you wouldn't want that, right?

Image of how not to dress around polite company cropped from this photo by Flickr user greggoconnell. Although, to be fair, it was snapped at Comic-Con, where this is perfectly appropriate attire. It's all about the context.