This Week in Celebrity...

...Class: Nick Nolte is full of it. (Via The Superficial.)

...Liars: We have ceased to believe Lindsay Lohan. About anything at all. She could tell us that the Liberty Bell was on fire, and despite the smoke rising from the vicinity of 5th and Chestnut, we'd tell her to go away. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?)

...Really Bad Ideas: Now that she's working as her own manager and publicist, we give Britney Spears approximately five weeks before self-destruction. (Via Page Six.)

...Artistic Intent: Oh god. Ten more tracks like "Stars Are Blind"? Somebody stop her now! (Via E! Online.)

...Brutality: This is why people shouldn't be their own police force. (Via TMZ.)

...Awesome: We never thought we'd say this, but Jon Lovitz might be a hero to all mankind. (Via The Superficial.)

...Chick Fights: A slap fest? Seriously? (Via The Scoop.)

...Embarrassing Secrets: Oddly enough, though, Lily Allen doesn't seem that embarrassed by it. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?)