Phillyist: Monday Manners: Hello, Stranger

guest

Mon, 23 Jul 2007 11:42:32 -0500

I think it's all about the context. This group called Neighbors Project (neighborsproject [dot] org) seems to be helping saying hi make a comeback in big cities. Their advice, which I believe, is to start smaller with just your immediate neighbors. I laughed when I saw their step-by-step guide to saying hi to a stranger on the street. Some neighborhoods in Philly, NYC and Boston seem to lend themselves to saying hi; others not so much.

sk

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 11:42:46 -0500

If someone makes eye contact, a brief hello makes sense. But, if not, couldn't it be argued that it's a little rude to bother someone who doesn't seem to want to communicate? I mean, a simple hello seems harmless, but if I'm concentrating on something else or focused on something with which I need to deal, what's the impetus for me to say hello to strangers? I also think it's rude for beggars/bums to follow someone who doesn't want to engage him/her in conversation or give him/her money. But, maybe I'm just a rude, dyed-in-the-wool Northeasterner.

Spencer Williams

Tue, 17 Jul 2007 11:33:21 -0500

I quickly learned this as well. I just went back to S.F. and this beggar/bum (is that pc?) came up to us as we were walking on the street. He started this banter with my friend for probably an entire block. He wanted money, to know where we were from...a whole bunch of stuff. I wanted to run like hell but all of my friends (native to S.F.) thought it was no big deal. Here I was thinking I was going to get jacked and possibly murdered in broad daylight. Afterward, I told them they were crazy to even talk to him - they all thought I was nuts. I just told them, "You haven't lived in Philly...."

zachmorriscellphone

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 17:07:07 -0500

If you respond to "excuse me," you might be a sucker. But if you don't respond to "hello," you are a jerk.

guest

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:44:31 -0500

the obvious reason is the sheer number of people you pass in a city. but honestly people do and should acknowledge strangers who way hello even if they are street musicians or even homeless people. i think most people do at the very least say hello and maybe "sorry no change". its the overly worried students from the sticks and the elderly who freak out when someone says hi.

guest

Mon, 16 Jul 2007 14:44:26 -0500

Having moved to Philly from upstate NY 15 years ago, you'd think I would've known better. But sometimes one gets caught off guard. There was a guy I would see sitting on a doorstoop every day on the way to work. He would say good morning and I would reciprocate. I just thought he was friendly; I though he owned the house. Eventually, he asked me if I wanted to go to a "really good massage parlor - right over there.." I declined. Eventually he flat-out just asked for some money. I felt like a sucker, my friendly demeanor was betrayed. He was a pimp. He didn't live there, and he wasn't just being nice. I still occasionally see him there, looking for a sucker, and trying to get my attention (again) even from across the street. It's much harder to ignore him ever since I opened that door and said 'good morning' all those times. I have other similar stories, but not enough time to tell. In the long run I learned my lesson. I hope this story is a lesson to all of you charming, small-town folks that come to live in Philly. It is a prime example why being "impolite" is really a necessity in the city.