Craigslist R-R-R-R-Round Up!!!!!!

"WAAAAAR-EEEEEEEEEE-ORS, come out and PLAY-E-AY!!"

It's that time of the week again, son. Do work.

I stole your crutches.
craigslist > best of craigslist

Hey, Jimmy, if you’re looking for your crutches, I think Timmy’s got ‘em. I smell another CRIP-PLE FIGHT!!!

I’m not sure what’s more important, this dude getting his crutches back or the fact that the Philly contingent finally got an entry on 'Best of.'

Sexy neighbor across the street - m4w (Pine St.)
philadelphia craigslist > missed connections

“Everyone’s a voyeurist they’re watching me watch them watch me right now…”

This angle doesn’t work. It never has. Trust me. Not only that, but you just ruined any chance of seeing her parade around with less clothing than a tight tank-top and skimpy shorts. Beggars can’t be choosers, pal.

Believe it.

Hey gorgeous, I need your toyota truck. - m4w - 24 (I-76 west)
philadelphia craigslist > missed connections

Missed Connections is like fish in a barrel for comedic fodder.

Put yourself in this situation:
You’re on the way to buy a truck (Toyota). You spot an emo girl in (are you ready for this?) a Toyota truck; she (apparently) spots you, too. What do you do?

The answer:
Proposition her (and her friends) to come over to your house (remember, she’s never met you), toss around stories of Toyota trucks past, and then force manual labor upon them.

The better answer: All of the above IN A CRAIGSLIST MISSED CONNECTIONS POST!

Please
philadelphia craigslist > barter

One question and then two ideas:

Question:
Are you, by any chance, a ginger?

Two ideas:
1. I will pay for your tubal reversal if you promise to bear my child (but only if you answer affirmatively to the ‘question’ above) and NEVER post anything regarding tubal reversal on craigslist - barter AGAIN. EVER.

2. Don’t have a tubal ligation if you’re not certain you don’t want to have children again. It seems simple.

Finally, if you’re scoring at home, I just used the word ‘tubal’ three times. I even mixed in two ‘reversal’s and a 'ligation.'

All in a day’s work, rockers.

As always, these are YOUR friends.

Image Credit: http://pt.creighton.edu/biodynamics/images/Crutch.jpg