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Friday night, the boy and I went out for dinner at a trendy little bistro with some friends of ours. When we arrived, the hostess asked us if we'd like to sit inside, outside, or at the first available table. It was a gorgeous night, and we really wanted outside, but we were starving, so we decided to go with first available. The hostess assured us that we shouldn't have to wait longer than half an hour, and invited us to hang out by the bar in the meanwhile. The bar, however, was packed and loud, and we hadn't seen our friends in quite some time, so we decided to stay outside and people-watch while we waited for our table. People-watching included some of the most god-awful outfits I've ever seen, an adorable baby or two, and a drunken businessman (keep in mind, it was dinner time) calling a woman the Spanish word for whore. It was a good time, but our stomachs were growling, and we turned our attention to people-watching the restaurant's patrons who were dining outside on the patio. Two women in particular caught first our eye, and later, our wrath.
When we arrived at the restaurant, the two women, seated at a four-top, seemed halfway through their entrees. Shortly after that, we watched the waitress clear their plates and then return with two martinis and the check. The women slowly sipped their martinis, oblivious of the check before them. They would put their glasses down for long stretches of time without touching them, or looking at the bill. They asked the waitress to get a dish of water for their dog. They finished their martinis and sat before their empty glasses. At one point, they glanced at the check, but I didn't see a wallet open. Other diners were leaving, but all of them seemed to be seated at two-tops, so their exits didn't do us any good. The hostess approached us, apologized, looked at the two women, and said, "I can't officially tell you it's okay, but if you want to go over there and look hungry, I won't stop you." The women finally paid their bill, but still continued to chat, oblivious to the "please-sir-I-want-some-more" gazes we were casting their way. We had been standing in front of the restaurant for forty minutes.
Finally, finally, a large party on the other side of the patio stood up, and the hostess said that she'd make sure they bussed the table quickly for us. Sixty-five minutes after arriving at the restaurant, we were seated. We'd already had a long talk with our waitress about the wine list and finished half of our first bottle before the two women and their ridiculous dog left the restaurant. And I had my Monday Manners topic.
On a quiet Monday night, or at a less popular restaurant, there's really nothing wrong with what these women did. On a weekend at a popular place, however, it's the height of rudeness. For starters, it's rude to the restaurant's patrons who are told a reasonable amount of time for which they should expect to wait (in our case, we were assured our wait would be under thirty minutes, even if we weren't asking for the first available table), but who instead wait far longer than that, even though you've long-since finished your meal.
It's also incredibly rude to the restaurant's servers, who rely on tips to supplement their often-below-minimum-wage salaries. If you're sitting at the table and not ordering more food or drinks, you're taking up the seats that could be occupied by paying customers, who, no doubt, will leave tips. If the average meal at a restaurant is completed within an hour, but you stay for two, you've essentially cut your server's hourly wage in half. If you're going to linger, at least order drinks or dessert, and tip accordingly.
Of course, the best way to be courteous after you've finished your meal is to settle up, and then, if the conversation is still going or the night is still young, move to a quiet place somewhere where you can hear each other speak. Sometimes, the bar at the restaurant you were dining at is enough. Other times, you may have to walk a block or two. When I want to be able to converse, I try to hit Society Hill Hotel, which is generally relatively quiet, or downstairs at Fergie's, where the lack of televisions helps to facilitate conversation, even if the bar gets a little noisy. If it's early enough and I'm not feeling the need for more alcohol, I'll encourage my friends to go the dessert route at Capogiro, The Franklin Fountain, or Naked Chocolate (even though I don't eat chocolate), all of which are relatively quiet, comfortable places where you can linger for a bit without annoying anyone too much. (In the summertime, though, you should still be aware of crowds at the frozen dessert places.)
No matter what, if you even sense that you've been at a restaurant too long, pay your check and be on your merry way. Catching up with old friends is always nice, but nobody wants to be an inconvenience. Just think of how you'd feel if you were waiting for a table to clear so that you could eat, or if your income any given night depended on how many parties ended up sitting at a table, and above all, be courteous. Just because the restaurant staff doesn't ask you to leave, doesn't mean they want you to stay.
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jesus, all I wanted was some damn water. talk about not having manners....
In the 'biz these customers are called "campers" and they are among the worst.
everyone should understand the concept of paying rent. if you are at a table or seated at the bar and are there for a time longer than necessary you need to pay rent. you tip more for the time you took up. there is no formula for this, but next time you are out and you are hanging around for 2 hours pay some rent.
These ladies were not eating out, they were dining and had the right not to be rushed. The only rudeness I read about in the article is that the hostess and yourself referring to staring at these ladies to get them to leave (and I bet it was more glare than pitious glance.) That to me is the height of rudeness and arrogance.
It took you just over an hour to get a table? WAH. These ladies actually kept a table for two hours? WAH! Maybe you should have gotten this new thing called a "reservation".
As for the staff - who cares if they don't flip their table? I am there to enjoy the meal at my leisure...not to worry about how many tables they have in an evening. Having been a waiter, I believe you should concentrate on the table you have, not the next table!
What's next for Monday Manners? The lady in front of you in the supermarket line with the audacity to use coupons?
I don't know where you learned your manners, but it is not rude for a patron to (gasp) linger over an enjoyable meal when dining out. It is the job of the wait staff and the restaurant manager to ensure that the establishment is running smoothly, and not the obligation of the restaurant's diners to police the place for potentially hungry clients who are waiting for a table and then gulp their meals accordingly to the schedules of those standing around them glaring.
It is unreasonable to expect someone to gobble their food because you are cranky, tired and impatient. Furthermore, it was the pinnacle of unprofessional behavior for the waitress to tell you "off the record" to essentially wander over and harass random diners while their were finishing their meal. The breach of manners here was yours.
I also noticed you seem to be puzzled by extensive wait times in restaurants. I haven't read this blog long enough to know whether that's a running theme or something that you just seemed to be bothered by while you were in DC, but wait times in those parts (and yes, here in Philly too) aren't that uncommon. Unless you're from a town where there are more cows than people (which hey, I'm not knocking -- cows are, on the whole, far less annoying) then you will have to wait to be seated when dining out on a summer weekend in a major city. Your wait time of sixty-five minutes was actually pretty average.
I strongly suggest checking out Five Guys Famous Burgers the next time you want to eat out. It's fast food (which seems to be paced more towards your level of patience) but the burgers are the best in town.