This Week in Celebrity...

...Ummmm: Two people who are no longer famous want to tell famous people how to be famous? Okay. (Via People.)

...Pregnancies, Part I: Somehow, we can't picture Christina Aguilera pregnant. (Via The Superficial.)

...Party Poopers: Rehab is such a buzz kill. Can't even have a party. At a club. In Vegas. Sponsored by vodka manufacturers. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?)

...Pregnancies, Part II: Whether you like Katie Holmes or not, we still think you'd agree with us in asserting that Tom Cruise has pretty much ruined her. (Via The Sun UK.)

...Noise Violations: Paris Hilton. One more reason not to live in LA – no offense, LAist. (Via NYDailyNews.com.)

...Pregnancies, Part III: That extra weight might just snap her in half. (Via Page Six.)

...Awesome: We knew Jessica Alba wasn't just a pretty face. (Via OK!)

...Pregnancies, Part IV: Did we even know Julia Roberts was pregnant? (Via The Superficial.)

...Ummmm: Britney has officially lost it. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?)

...Pregnancies, Part V: We hardly know who this is, but we noticed a theme in today's post. (Via People.)

Image via The Superficial.