I have become, quite by accident, an occasional commuter. The boy, you see, still lives out on the Main Line until August, and once in a while, I end up staying at his place on a weeknight. We've both got places to be in the morning (he to his bar review class, I to my temping position), so he drives me to the train station, kisses me goodbye, and the fun begins. I'm not talking about the wait: as Amtrak continues its rail improvement initiative (or whatever they're calling it), the R5 is running ever later and later. This is a manners column, not a request that SEPTA start running on time. (We covered that one already.) No, no. The real fun is dealing with a group of rude commuters, many of whom have not yet had their morning coffee.

I know. I know. It's early in the morning. Not the most polite time of day for many people (myself included). But there's a difference between being accidentally rude (falling asleep on the train with your head on the shoulder of the stranger next to you) and just plain inconsiderate. After the jump are a few tips for avoiding the latter, even if you can't avoid the former.

• Be mindful of available space while you wait. The station at which I usually catch the train has exactly two benches on the inbound platform. One of them is inside the little ticket-selling area, and one of them is outside. Neither is very large. But some people seem to think that that's a non-issue. When there aren't a lot of people waiting, it's totally fine to put your possessions beside you on the bench. But look around you once in a while. Are there a lot of people standing? Are all of the benches (however many there are) occupied? If so, put your belongings on the floor or on your lap.
• You only have one butt. To build on the point being made above, once you board the train, take note of how crowded it is, then take note of how crowded it might get (depending on what time it is). If you're traveling during "peak" commuting times (i.e. when people are going to or leaving work), know that you probably won't be able to get your seat all to yourself, even if it's empty when you get on. Feel free to put your belongings on the seat next to you, but the moment the train starts to feel crowded, move them to the floor, your lap, or, if you can reach it, the overhead storage rack.
• Keep moving. Just because the car on which you boarded is crowded, doesn't mean that the other cars are as well. People seem to have a tendency to board trains from the center of the platform. Conductors will often instruct boarding passengers that there are more seats in the front or back of the train. You should listen to them and head in the direction they indicate. Just don't move between cars once the train has started moving again.
• Take note of who's around you. You're sitting pretty while the pregnant lady who just boarded the crowded train is forced to stand in the aisle? Do you see something wrong with that picture, too? If you're seated near where she (or the elderly gentleman with the walker, or anyone else who might benefit from sitting) is standing, offer to trade places.
• Don't just stand there! Okay, so you gave up your seat for someone else. Not only do you now have to stand, but you're probably going to have to do some moving around. For instance: as more people get on, you're going to need to move away from the door so as to give them more room to stand. If you happen to be right next to the door, you're also going to have to figure out some way to stand aside so that it can open completely at each stop.
• There are many more stops than yours. Whether you're sitting or standing, bear in mind that there's a good chance that other people will be getting off the train before you. Do your best to make it easy for them: if you're sitting on an outside seat and the departing person is sitting beside you, stand up to allow that person to exit without climbing over you. If you're already standing in the aisle, turn sideways (most people take up less space that way) so that people can slide past you. If possible, take a step in, toward the seats – just avoid stepping on toes!
• Make like a Boy Scout and be prepared. This applies all the time, but especially when the train is crowded. Make your way toward the door from whence you'll be exiting after the train rolls out of the station before yours (i.e., if you're on the inbound R5 and you're getting off at Suburban Station, start moving when the train rolls out of 30th Street Station). If the train is especially crowded and the aisles are packed, don't be afraid to say "excuse me" in a loud, clear voice. But don't be rude, and don't shove. If it really looks like you won't make it to the door on time, feel free to holler ahead to the conductor that you're coming out, so the train doesn't start moving again while you're still on it. But once again, don't be rude about it.
• If you can, say thank you to the conductors. No matter how unpleasant your ride, chances are, it's not the conductors' faults. (Besides, the train being crowded may have earned you a free ride.) Thank them for getting you to where you're going. They really don't hear it often enough, and it might just make their day.

Image: "Looks Clean but Smells like Poo." (never truer words spoken!) by Flickr user elle_rigby.