This Week in Celebrity...

...Freak-Outs: This might be one of the funniest, most pathetic, things Britney has done yet! (Via The Superficial.)

...Yeah, Right! Paris loves Jesus. (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?)

...Theft: Lindsay Lohan is, like, our hero. (Via People.)

...Identity Theft: Well, nobody wants to see the real Katie Holmes having sex, either. (Via Egotastic!)

...Best Actress Honors: Two excellent performances here, not to be missed. (So we embedded them, too.) (Via Hollywood Rag.)

...Has-Beens: Nothing that Scott Stapp ever does will surprise us. (Via Sun-Sentinel.com.)

...Animal Lovers: Ten-to-one, she wouldn't do the same thing for a human. (Via Yahoo!)

...Good Idea, Bad Idea: Good idea: getting a vodka manufacturer to sponsor your 21st birthday. Bad idea: getting a vodka manufacturer to sponsor your 21st birthday when the whole world knows that you're a recovering alcoholic. (Via The Superficial.)

...Class: Seriously, everyone knows it's fake, Brit. Embrace the buzz cut! (Via What Would Tyler Durden Do?)

...Poor Taste? We didn't know that Kurt even rocked the Dr. Martens. (Via People.)