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You know that can't-get-enough-of-each other, can't-stop-touching-each other, stop-in-the-middle-of-the-street-to-kiss, oh-my-god-isn't-the-world-a-beautiful-place, P.S.-I'm-so-horny phase of a new relationship? Yeah. As half of a newly-formed couple, I'm finding myself there. It goes against my inner cynic. But I've got to admit, I'm kind of enjoying the ride. When I'm not throwing up a little in my mouth.
However...
No matter how absolutely, blissfully, cheesy-romantic-comedy happy I am, I still do my level best to keep it in check when my man (he loves it when I call him that!) and I are out in public. Sure, we may be that couple at Sunday brunch. You know the one I mean: they hold hands across the table and punctuate short bursts of conversations with long spells of eye-gazing? And sure, we use red lights as an excuse to stop walking and kiss. But, you will never find us dry humping in a public park. (There's a pretty profound difference between stopping at a red light for a romantic moment on the way home, and simulating sexual intercourse in a high-profile location.) Nor will you find us on anything but our best behavior when we're amongst our friends.
Oh, we'll briefly hold hands, sure. Or, a hand might absently be placed on a knee, an arm draped over a shoulder or around the waist. Our knees might be touching. A few nights ago, we attended "game night" at a friend's, and after a successful round was played, a quick kiss on the cheek—or maybe it was a brief peck on the lips—was definitely bestowed. But that is all. To do anything more than that is déclassé—and so tenth grade.
So why is it okay to kiss in the middle of an intersection, but not when you're out with your friends? Well... Your friends know you. They knew you before your relationship. And if things don't pan out in said relationship, they'll know you after. Or, you hope they will. But a good way to alienate your friends and make sure that they'll be glad when your relationship implodes is to start tonguing your s.o. in front of them. They simply don't need to see it. And so they'll stop inviting you (as a couple) to hang out with them (as a group). And believe me: no relationship is worth losing friends over.
Being anything but well-behaved in front of your friends isn't just rude for matters of decorum, either. It's actually inconsiderate of your friends' feelings. Imagine if you were recently-dumped. Or even just bitter about still being single when all the rest of your friends are in relationships. And then your BFF shows up, new partner in tow, and proceeds to have a lovefest five feet from you. Wouldn't you find that just a little... depressing? Yeah, I thought so. So why the hell are you going to turn around and upset your friends by doing the same thing?
And beyond all that: when you've just started dating somebody, you want your friends' approval of your new s.o. You need it. Because it's gratifying to know that you're not making a huge, potentially life-ruining, mistake. Your friends won't even give your new relationship a fair shake if they see your new partner as someone who's invading their turf and taking you away from them. At the same time, you don't want your new s.o. to feel uncomfortable the next time s/he is invited to hang with the group, and your friends staring daggers at the "invader" because they remember what happened last time pretty much guarantees an uncomfortable evening for all.
"Proper" manners would pretty much dictate no touching at all. But I'd be the first to tell you that that is no easy feat. And in today's day and age, it's acceptable to be a little amorous toward the other half of your relationship. But even if you don't care about "proper" manners, you can make life much pleasanter for yourself, your friends, your significant other, and your significant other's friends, if you just exercise a little restraint.
Image from The Penn State Collegian, via Google.
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