The (Former) Face of a Criminal

The Daily News reported on a 37-year-old would-be thief today. This one, however, has quite a twist. Curtis Sanders was apparently unsatisfied with his "Assistant Manager of the Year" designation when he decided to rob the Pathmark at the Cedarbrook Mall in Montgomery County.

He also wasn't counting on the fact that the driver of the armored car that picks up the store's till for transport to the bank would not only remain badass even with a face full of pepper spray, but also try to shoot his thieving face off. The security officer sped away after a tussel.

Okay, we're going to say that again. The security officer sped away after a tussel. First, how do you drive at all, let alone speed away after being attacked with pepper spray?

Then, how in Satan's sweet unholy name could the perp possibly have tussled post-gunshot wound to the face (not to mention he was also shot in the chest!)?!?!?

So this begs the question, how close was this guy to becoming manager? Couldn't he have just waited until he was the guy that did the hand-off to the armored car fellow? Couldn't he have at least had the common decency to tazer the guy instead of spraying stuff in his eyes? Didn't he notice the gun on the guy's belt?

Anyway, the cops found the would-be robber on the ground not far from where the aforementioned tussel took place. He was probably looking for the missing pieces of his face and wishing he had just waited for that damned promotion.

The moral of the story is that no amount of money is worth facial reconstruction surgery (we were going to put a link to a facial surgery web site, but we like you guys too much to put you through that - suffice it to say, it's really really nasty).

Image from Flickr user Maulleigh.