Wanted: Candidate for mayor.

Must live outside the city limits (in another state entirely, preferably), have experience facing federal indictment (million dollar tax frauds a plus) and ethics investigations (bonus if the investigations include family). Ideal candidate will be able to type 65 words per minute, possess the ability to sell processed meats to hungry people, and be arrested in New Jersey on warrants for two outstanding traffic violations.

...What's that? I'm sorry. We've just filled that position. Milton Street, the job is yours, if you want it.

We hate to snicker in the face of someone else's problems (okay, we're totally lying, we LOVE snickering in the face of other people's problems), but this mayoral race is only getting more awesome as it goes on. What's next? Chaka Fattah proposes that he show his dedication by leaping The Linc on a Vegas Green motorcycle? (Actually...)